Dan Curtis ~ Professional Personal Historian

Saying “no” politely is a necessity if one wants to lead any kind of stable life. ~ Richard Chamberlain

The “N” word has a bad reputation. It’s seen as negative and mean. Many of us find it hard to say. But saying No will help you not only with your work as a personal historian but also with your life in general. I’m getting better at saying No but there’s room for improvement. The reality is that saying No is a healthy way of providing us with the space we need to be the best we can be. Saying No takes back control of our lives. You have a right to say No and feel good about it. Here are ten things where No can be the answer. Do you have any to add to the list?  Send me a comment. Love to hear from you.

1. No to clutter. Physical and mental clutter fills space and leaves us less energy for the things we really want to do. Clean up your office and throw stuff out. Being mindful of the moment and focusing on one thing at a time will reduce mental clutter.
2. No to worry. “I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along,” says Erma Bombeck.  So what are you worrying about? Can you do something about it? Then do it. Action is a powerful antidote to worry. If your worry is something you can’t do anything about, then let it go. For every minute spent worrying we could spend that minute reflecting on the good in our lives. The mind can’t hold two thoughts at the same time.  Hold thoughts that are pleasing. Soon there will be little space for worry!
3. No to the Gremlin. Our Inner Critic keeps us locked in  old beliefs and time worn patterns. Recognizing our Gremlins and saying No to them opens up new ways of interacting with the world.
4. No to procrastination. When we think of tasks as difficult or inconvenient, there’s a tendency to procrastinate. When we give in to procrastination, we perform poorly and  are often under increased stress. One solution: break big tasks into small size pieces.
5. No to time wasters. How is your time wasted during the day? Make a list of all the situations that waste your time and then zap them! You know what they are -  answering soliciting calls, listening to gossip, trying to find that document you filed  somewhere, surfing the Internet, and grocery shopping at the busiest time of the day.
6. No to overwhelm. Taking on one more task or project can tip us into overwhelm.  Ask what you will have to say No to before saying yes to your next project.
7. No to pleasing people all the time. “I really cannot give you the formula for success. But I can give you the formula for failure. It’s this: try to please everyone,” says  Bernard Meltzer. We all want to be liked. For some of us that means saying yes to everyone so that they’ll like us. It’s a no win situation. You can’t please everyone all the time and so someone is bound to feel slighted. It’s better to be clear who the people are that have a priority on your time and be generous to them than to stretch yourself thinly and satisfy no one.
8. No to tolerations. Our lives are full of things that we tolerate. They  sap our energy and limit our potential. Tolerations can be big and small from tolerating an unhappy relationship to tolerating a squeaky door.  Limit your tolerations and you’ll have more room in your life.
9. No to blame. Blaming others for our difficulties is not helpful. A better approach is to examine your strengths. Then ask yourself, “How can I use my strengths to improve my business and my life?”
10. No to “toxic” clients. You don’t want to be around clients for whom nothing is right. You may think that you need every client you can lay your hands on but you can do better. Fire your “toxic” client and you’ll leave an opening for someone who really values your services.

If you enjoyed this post, get free updates by email.

Photo by iStockphoto

Share this post.