Monthly Archives: February 2010

50 Fantastic Life Story Quotations!

For an inspirational lift or a grace note in your promotional materials you can’t beat a good quotation. Over the years I’ve  amassed a collection of quotes that relate to life stories and I’m pleased to share them with you here.  I’ve assembled the first fifteen on this page. For the remaining thirty-five be sure to click on the link at the bottom . Enjoy!

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Memoir writing, gathering words onto pieces of paper, helps me shape my life to a manageable size.  By discovering plot, arc, theme, and metaphor, I offer my life an organization, a frame, which would be otherwise unseen, unknown.  Memoir creates a narrative, a life story. Writing my life is a gift I give to myself.  To write is to be constantly reborn.  On one page I understand this about myself.  On the next page, I understand that.

from Sue William Silverman’s Fearless Confessions:  A Writer’s Guide to Memoir (U of Georgia, 2009)

It’s not about dinner but the kind of conversations you have with your family and the stories you tell.

Robyn Fivush, Professor of Psychology, Emory University

If you want to understand today, you have to search yesterday.

Pearl S. Buck (1892-1973),  American writer

Anyone who’s fortunate enough to live to be 50 years old should take some time, even if it’s just a couple of weekends, to sit down and write the story of your life, even if it’s only twenty pages, and even if it’s only for your children and grandchildren.

former President Bill Clinton

To forget one’s ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root.

Chinese proverb

Do not wait; the time will never be “just right.” Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.

George Herbert (1593 – 1633), a Welsh poet, orator, and priest

The positive thing about writing is that you connect with yourself in the deepest way, and that’s heaven. You get a chance to know who you are, to know what you think. You begin to have a relationship with your mind.

Natalie Goldberg, writer, Zen practitioner, and teacher

When you speak or write in your own voice you become subject rather than object. You transform your own destiny.

bell hooks, American author, feminist, and social activist

It seems that the ancient Medicine Men understood that listening to another’s story somehow gives us the strength of example to carry on, as well as showing us aspects of ourselves we can’t easily see.  For listening to the stories of others – not to their precautions or personal commandments – is a kind of water that breaks the fever of our isolation.  If we listen closely enough, we are soothed into remembering our common name.

from The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo

One regret I have: I didn’t get as much of the family history as I could have for the kids.

Robert De Niro, American actor, director, and producer

Ultimately, the richest resource for meaning and healing is one we already posses. It  rests (mostly untapped) in the material of our own lifestory, in the sprawling, many-layered “text” that has been accumulating within us across the years.

from Restorying Our Lives: Personal Growth through Autobiographical Reflection by Kenyon, Gary M., and William L. Randall (1997)

Your story, it’s not boring and ordinary, by the way. We just get the one life, you know. Just one. You can’t live someone else’s or think it’s more important just because it’s more dramatic. What happens matters, maybe only to us, but it matters.

from the movie Ghost Town

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.

Isaac Asimov (c. 1920 – 1992), science fiction writer

The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it.

Benjamin Disraeli (1804 – 1881), British statesman who served twice as Prime Minister

The longer we listen to one another – with real attention – the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.

Barbara Deming (1917 – 1984), American feminist and advocate of nonviolent social change

…and there’s more here!


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A Little Musical Inspiration.

I like I’m Still Me by the Williams Riley Band even though I’m not a big fan of country music. The song addresses the truth of what we know as personal historians. That behind the thinning hair and wrinkled skin is a person whose life is rich with the memories of living. How fortunate we are to be able to provide a service that ensures that these memories are never lost. Give a listen here to I’m Still Me. You won’t be disappointed.

Photo by iStockPhoto

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How to Go For The Gold in Your Business.

The Winter Olympics draws to a close in a few days.  I’ve been thinking that Olympic athletes are a perfect example of what we need to do to achieve gold for our businesses. Here’s how:

  • Goals. Olympians are clear about their goal. They want to be the best in the world.  We can’t achieve the results we want in our businesses unless we aim to be the best. What do you need to do right now to achieve  your best?
  • Training. World class athletes continually train and push themselves to the limit and beyond. As small business owners we need to do the same. What are the skills you need to perfect? What’s working for you and what has to be dropped? How do you push yourself to the limit?
  • Coaching. Athletes can’t do it all on their own. They rely on coaches to help them develop their skills. There are business and personal coaches who can do the same for you. What’s stopping you from hiring a coach? What do you need to do to overcome that obstacle?
  • Perseverance. Elite athletes have setbacks but they don’t give up. Operating a small business can be tough at times. We encounter challenges that can be discouraging. But if we want to go, for the gold we have to pick ourselves up and keep going. What is your biggest challenge right now? How can you surmount it?
  • Competition. Competing with others pushes athletes to achieve their best. Look at those businesses that offer similar products and services as yours. What competing businesses do you really admire? How can you do better?
  • Concentration. Watching an Olympian in motion is to see someone with exquisite concentration. In our businesses we have to be similarly focused. How can you be more focused in your work? What do you need to give up to achieve concentration?
  • Balance. World class athletes know that they must balance their hard work with rest, good diet, and friends and family. When you’re running a small business, it’s easy to go non-stop. How’s your work/life balance right now? What can you do to achieve a better balanced life?

So are you ready to go for gold? What have I left off the list? Let me know. I always enjoy your comments.

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Monday’s Link Roundup.

In honor of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, this Monday’s Link Roundup has some Canadian content.  The Memory Project aims to collect the stories of WWII veterans and make them available online.  John Babcock, the last of the Canadian WWI veterans, died this past week. The CBC article, John Babcock and the legacy of the ordinary soldier, is about Babcock being a link in the long history of soldiering.

  • The Memory Project: Stories of the Second World War. “This nationwide bilingual project will create a record of Canada’s participation in the Second World War as seen through the eyes of thousands of veterans. The Memory Project will provide every living Second World War veteran with the opportunity to share their memories through oral interviews and digitized artefacts and memorabilia. These stories and artefacts will be available on this site for teachers, students and the general public.”
  • 2010 National Genealogical Society Family History Conference. “The 2010 NGS Family History Conference will be held at the Salt Palace Convention Center in Salt Lake City, Utah. Mark your calendars for 28 April–1 May 2010. Whether your family helped settle the nation, migrated across the country, stayed in the same place, or recently arrived in America, this conference has much to offer. The family history resources in Salt Lake City, Utah, will provide a depth and breadth to your research. The Family History Library has an extensive collection of international records. A major focus of the conference will be increasing research skills in foreign countries.”
  • Top 100 Blogs to Improve Your Writing in 2010. “Here is a list of 100 blogs that will help you improve your writing by providing inspiration, motivation, creativity and new techniques from experts, freelancers, and editors from every genre.”
  • 5 Cool Books for Creative People. “It’s time once more for 5 Cool Things. This week, it’s all about books, cool books, of course. Each one is a cool book for creative people. So, if it’s cool with you, I’ll begin.”
  • John Babcock and the legacy of the ordinary soldier. “There is a long chain of links to wars of the past, a chain that can go back centuries — the legionary, the bowman, the Tommy, the grunt — and links ordinary soldiers to the beginning of history. John Babcock, who died Feb. 18, 2010, the last Canadian veteran of the First World War, was just such a link.”
  • What Is Forensic Genealogy? “Forensic scientists and genealogists share the same goal–to find out who was who, and who did what and when. In explaining how to analyze photographs, to mine databases, and to use DNA analysis to reveal family history, Forensic Genealogy emphasizes the creative parts of an investigation over the mechanics.”
  • Australian Judge Rules Facts Cannot Be Copyrighted. “An Australian Judge ruled that copyright laws do not apply to collections of facts, regardless of the amount of effort that was spent collecting them. In this case, the case surrounded the reproduction of entries from the White and Yellow Pages, but the ruling appears to have an impact on all sorts of things, including genealogy information.”

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When Small Can Be Profound.

Not long ago I was asked to audio record some final words from a young mother who was dying from cancer.  I’ll call her Sonia to protect the family’s privacy. She was in her early thirties and she wanted to leave something for her only child, a five-year-old boy.

The day I met her, I asked what she would like to say to her little boy. It was not easy. The  anguish of her never seeing her son again made it hard for Sonia to say what was in her heart. But with patience and time we were able to record a few minutes  of her tender wishes and hopes for her boy.

I realized that we were not likely to get more. But a thought struck me. “What about bedtime stories?” I asked Sonia if she read to her boy and if he had some favorite stories. She smiled and nodded. “How would you like to select a couple and we could record you reading them?” She agreed and on my next visit, although she was weak, she softly read the stories that her son had enjoyed. That was the last thing we recorded. Not long after Sonia died.

In all we had recorded little more than half an hour. Not much really. But as I thought about her son and the wonderful gift his mother had left, I was deeply moved. It wasn’t a question of the amount we had recorded. It was that Sonia’s little boy would still be able to hear her comforting voice. And one day, as a man, he would be able to listen to those bedside stories and remember his mother,  a mother who died much too soon. Small can indeed be profound.

Photo by Gaël

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The Introvert’s 12 Step Plan for Painless Networking.

I am an introvert. The idea of attending a function with a crush of chattering people is about  as much fun as sticking needles in my eyes. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not shy. It’s just that I get my strength from quiet times away from people.

So how do I deal with the inevitable challenge of attending networking events?  While it’s still not my favorite thing to do, it’s become easier over the years. Here are a few tricks  I’ve learned.

  1. Set a goal of talking to three or four people. Networking isn’t a competition to see who can collect the most business cards. What’s important is to develop relationships that last. Decide ahead of time the minimum number of people you’ ll talk to before leaving the event. Over time you might gain the confidence to eventually set a higher goal.
  2. Start small. Do one or two functions a month and choose smaller groups where you won’t feel overwhelmed.
  3. Think of it as building relationships. You want to take the time to have conversations with people in order to create some long term connections that can be mutually beneficial.
  4. Be  helpful. Remember it’s not about selling yourself. It’s about helping people. Perhaps it’s making a connection or recommendation for someone. Or maybe it’s sending the person a useful article.
  5. Pretend you’ve organized the event. Whenever I organize an event, I feel great. As host I’m free to make sure people are comfortable, make introductions, and see to the loners in the crowd.  Now I take this mindset with me when I attend a networking event. The mental shift from guest to host frees me up and I enjoy myself more. Try it. It works!
  6. Seek out those who are on their own. Remember you’re there to be helpful. What better way to help than to strike up a conversation with someone who looks lost and uncomfortable. The person’s probably a fellow introvert!
  7. Break the ice. It’s not important what you say. It’s small talk. Comment on the weather, food, the crowd, or the season.  Don’t keep the small talk going too long. If there’s some rapport, then shift to more substantial questions.
  8. Ask questions and listen. This should be pretty easy for personal historians. Ask open ended questions like, “What brings you here today? How long have you been with this organization? What do you like about your work? ” Listen carefully and focus on your guest. Don’t let your gaze wander over the crowd.
  9. Play to your strengths. You’re an introvert. Most introverts are pretty good listeners. Don’t pretend to be an extrovert. You’ll look phoney and feel horrible in the process.
  10. Don’t sell. People don’t come to networking events to be pitched products or services. It’s  annoying. When asked what you do, have a succinct and clear statement about how your service helps people. It might be something like, “I’m a personal historian. I record and preserve family stories. My clients are often sons and daughters who want to record their parents’ lives but are too busy to do it themselves.”
  11. Moving on. We introverts can find it difficult to break away from a conversation. But really it’s not that hard. Most who attend a networking function expect people to mingle. No need to make an excuse. When you know it’s time to move on simple say, “I’ve enjoyed talking to you. I really appreciate what you have to say about…[fill in the blank].  May I have your business card?”
  12. Reward yourself. Before your networking gig think of a way to reward yourself  for stepping up to the plate. Maybe it’s playing hooky one afternoon and seeing a movie. Or perhaps it’s  going for a relaxing massage. You know what works for you. Just be sure to do it!

What do you do to make networking less painful? Leave a comment. Love to hear from you!

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Monday’s Link Roundup.

This week’s Monday’s Links Roundup has some treats. Two of my favorites are Word Spy and Looking Into the Past. If you love playing with words, then Word Spy is the place to go. Here’s a sample:  “wheredunit n. A murder mystery or detective story where the location of a crime plays a central role. Also: where-dunit.”  And for an amazingly creative way to use photographs, you won’t want to pass up Looking Into the Past.

  • Advanced Oral History Summer Institute. “The Regional Oral History Office (ROHO) at the University of California, Berkeley, is offering a one-week advanced institute on the methodology, theory, and practice of oral/video history. This will take place at The Bancroft Library on the Berkeley campus from August 16-20, 2010. The cost of the five-day institute is $800.”
  • The HistoryMakers. “is the single largest archival collection of its kind in the world.  Our goal is to complete 5,000 interviews of both well-known and unsung African American HistoryMakers.  In doing so, we want to include the stories of individual African Americans along with those of African American organizations, events, movements and periods of time that are significant to the African American community.  To date, our oldest HistoryMaker is 105 years old and the youngest is 29 years old.”
  • Is Reading Blog Posts Worth Your Time? “You probably read blogs every day, blogs on marketing or entrepreneurship or Zen or gardening or getting your dog to behave. Are you putting any of the advice you read there to regular, everyday use?”
  • Word Spy: The Word Lover’s Guide to New Words. This is great fun. Want to add a new word to your vocabulary. How about foodoir? It’s a blend of memoir and food – a book  that incorporates recipes, food stories, eating, and memoir.
  • Meet your match – typographically at least. “If there’s a car and a dog and an ideal online mate for every personality, then why not a typeface? By answering four simple questions posed in a playful video by the English design firm Pentagram, you can finally hook up with the style of print for which you were destined. ” To take the test click here.
  • Looking Into the Past. “Inspired by Michael Hughes’ Souvenir project, Jason Powell started Looking Into The Past, a Flickr pool devoted to combining old photos of locations, buildings, and people with the present day scene. The ones with the most impact have the photographer holding an old photo in front of the camera lined up with features in the scene.”
  • Oral history project spotlights local LGBT community. “A project conducted by Appalachian State University is gathering the histories of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered people living in the Appalachian region. “We’re not just looking for people who grew up here but transplants, those who moved here or lived here and moved away,” archivist Kathy Staley explains.”

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Act Now to Save and Store Your Old Photos.

If you’re like me, you’ve inherited old photo albums with the pictures held down on so called magnetic pages. The trouble with these albums  is that the adhesive used and the plastic liners damage the photos over time. Removing the photos is a priority. I went looking for help and boiled my research down to these seven essential steps.

Step 1. Before attempting any photo removal make certain to scan digitally  each album page so that should a photo be damaged, you can still recover it from the scanned image.

Step 2. Select a practice photo that has no value to you or is badly out of focus. A word of caution. When removing  photos be sure not to curl or peel them back as this could cause permanent damage.

Step 3. Use a piece of dental floss and carefully pull it under one corner of the photo. Using a sawing motion slowly work your way to the opposite corner. With any luck the photo should pop right off.

Step 4. If  a photo is glued so tightly that floss won’t work, then try one of the following removal methods:

a. Use un-do, an adhesive remover that won’t harm photos. It comes with an applicator that allows you to slip the remover under the photo.

b. Place the album page in your freezer for a few minutes. The glue will become brittle, making it easier to remove the photo.

c. Use a hair dryer set on low heat. Run it back and forth on the back of the page holding the photo. Be careful not to overheat the photo as this could damage it. Once the glue has softened, quickly and carefully remove the picture.

d. Place the photo album page in a microwave. Make certain there are no metallic pieces. Start the microwave and run it for five seconds. Check the photo and keep using five  second blasts until the glue softens and the photo comes free.

Step 5. Take your photos and where possible  write on the back the following information: the names of people in the photo, their ages,  the year, the location, and the event. Avoid using a ball point pen as this could damage the photo. Use a soft lead pencil or an acid free pen available from a craft store.

Step 6. Digitally scan your photos, store them on your hard drive, and than upload them to a web based site like Flickr or Picasa. That way if your hard drive crashes, you won’t lose your digitized photos.

Step 7. Store your photos in cardboard photo boxes that pass the Photographic Activity Test (PAT). You can obtain such boxes at Archival Methods, Carr McLean, Light Impressions, Gaylord, and University Products. If you have a large collection, layer an acid free sheet of paper between each photo. Photos should be kept in a cool room with low humidity. That generally means keeping them out of attics and basements.

Photo by iStockphoto

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How to Identify Old Family Photographs.

In a previous article,  How to Make Your Life Story Workshop Memorable, I showed the  photo below from my personal collection.

from Dan Curtis photo collection

I suggested that an interesting workshop exercise would be to make copies of this photo, hand them out to the participants, and then  have them write  what they thought was the story behind the  photo. After people shared stories, I’d reveal the actual story. I haven’t yet used this exercise  but for those of you who read last week’s post and are curious  to know the real story, here it is.

The man second from the right in the group is my father. It was 1941 and he was sailing from England back to Canada on a merchant ship, the Port Freemantle. He was a radio operator and  navigator with the Ferry Command. The men surrounding him were fellow airmen who had recently flown bombers to England from Canada as part of the war effort. What I find interesting is how formally the men are dressed with their ties and jackets. You wouldn’t see that today!

All of this is a way of introducing you to the wonderful world of photo identification. This is fascinating and highly skilled work and no one does it better than Maureen Taylor, also known as The Photo Detective. The Wall Street Journal has called her “the nation’s foremost historical photo detective”. If you attended last year’s Association of Personal Historians conference, you would have had the privilege of hearing and meeting Maureen in person. If you’re not familiar with her work, check out her blog and her articles in Family Tree Magazine. If you have an old photo whose history is long lost, you can send your mystery photo to Maureen and for a fee she’ll work on identifying it.

For those of you who want to do it yourself,  here are some resources to get you started.

***Be sure not to miss Cyndi’s List: Photographs and Memories. It’s an amazing collection of sites that will keep you busy for a long, long time!***

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Monday’s Link Roundup.

When I’m researching links for my Monday’s Link Roundup, I’m always  amazed by the richness of material available for those interested in personal and oral histories, storytelling, and genealogy. Today’s list is no exception. My favorite link is the Newseum. You can hover your mouse cursor over a city anywhere in the world and the front pages of that city’s newspapers are highlighted. Very cool!

  • Unique photo gift ideas. “Your hard drive’s holding gigabytes of digital photos you’ve been snapping for years hostage, keeping all those memories of people and places in the digital dark. Your photos can make others smile on a personalized photo gift, for a holiday or for no reason at all.”
  • Google Digitizes the Ottawa Citizen Archives. “Google has digitized and made available online most of the archives of the Ottawa Citizen newspaper, putting about 2.5 million articles at your fingertips, the earliest from 1890. You may be amazed at the speed and ease with which you can find family history.”
  • Online Oral History Projects. “Many museums, historical organizations, universities, and special interest groups have not only created digital archives, but also oral history projects that cover spectrums of historical themes. The following sites offer a look into the expansive realm of online oral history projects.”
  • Newseum Blends High-Tech With Historical. “The Newseum — a 250,000-square-foot museum of news — offers visitors an experience that blends five centuries of news history with up-to-the-second technology and hands-on exhibits. The Newseum is located at the intersection of Pennsylvania Avenue and Sixth Street, N.W., Washington, D.C., on America’s Main Street between the White House and the U.S. Capitol and adjacent to the Smithsonian museums on the National Mall.” [Thanks to RJ McHatton of Inventive Productions for alerting me to this site.]
  • This I Believe. “…an international project engaging people in writing and sharing essays describing the core values that guide their daily lives. Over 70,000 of these essays, written by people from all walks of life, are archived here on our website, heard on public radio, chronicled through our books and television programming, and featured in weekly podcasts. The project is based on the popular 1950s radio series of the same name hosted by Edward R. Murrow.”

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