Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian compatriots! This Monday’s Link Roundup has its usual eclectic mix of articles. One on my favorites is 7 Playful Activity Books for Grown-Ups. If you’re looking for something to lighten your day, then one of these books may just do the trick. Also don’t miss a fascinating story about Vintage Report Cards from the early 1900s and what they reveal about daily life.

• The Benefits of Speaking Aloud. “Giving sound to what had been a silent process puts writers in the role of their readers. This extra step gives writers an objective view of their content. Bestselling author Nicholson Baker calls his version of the verbalizing process “speak-typing,” in which he dictates to himself and types as he speaks.”

• 7 Playful Activity Books for Grown-Ups. “The intersection of childhood and adulthood is a frequent area of curiosity around here, from beloved children’s books with timeless philosophy for adults to quirky coloring books for the eternal kid. Today, we turn to seven wonderful activity books for grown-ups that inject a little more whimsy and playfulness into your daily grind.”

• When a Dictionary Could Outrage. “…the furor over Webster’s Third [1961] also marked the end of an era. It’s a safe bet that no new dictionary will ever incite a similar uproar, whatever it contains. The dictionary simply doesn’t have the symbolic importance it did a half-­century ago, when critics saw the Third as a capitulation to the despised culture of middlebrow, what Dwight Macdonald called the “tepid ooze of Midcult.” That was probably the last great eructation of cultural snobbery in American public life.”

• Farmer’s Almanac more ‘weed-dating’ than game-changing. “In a world that changes too fast and allows grand old institutions to die like flies, please welcome The Old Farmer’s Almanac 2012, the 220th annual appearance of the U.S. edition and the 30th of the Canadian edition.”

• Five ways to work a conference. “It’s conference season, and the challenge for most attendees is how to turn the hothouse of ideas they are exposed to into marked improvement back in the office.” [Thanks to Philip Sherwood of Lifewriters for alerting me to this item.]

• New Oral History Resource for LGBT History Month.“There’s a new middle and high school resource just in time for LGBT History Month that’s designed to help educators integrate lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender history, people, and issues into their instructional programs. Unheard Voices, created in collaboration with the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, the Anti-Defamation League, and StoryCorps, includes five lesson plans built around brief audio interviews with nine people who witnessed or helped shape LGBT history in some way.”

• Vintage Report Cards from the Manhattan Trade School for Girls. “After discovering hundreds of early 1900s report cards from the Manhattan Trade School for Girls, Paul Lukas is publishing his findings online in a series called “Permanent Record” on Slate. The written assessments are historical artifacts as well as ephemeral relics of daily life, describing some students as “slow,” and others as “very ambitious,” “irritable at times,” or a “nice type.”

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I’ve been writing about the value of life stories in palliative care since 2008. I felt it was time to assemble these articles in one place for those of you who are interested in this subject. The posts are arranged chronologically from the most recent to the oldest.

• Part One: Life Stories and Palliative Care: Your Questions Answered.

• Part Two: Life Stories and Palliative Care: Your Questions Answered.

• A Personal List of Books on Dying.

• Life Stories and Palliative Care. When Time Is Running Out, What Do You Focus On?

• How to Establish a “Life Stories” Hospice Program. Part One

• How to Establish a “Life Stories” Hospice Program. Part Two

• 7 Essential Questions to Consider Before Offering a Personal History Service to the Terminally Ill.

• Caution: End-of-Life Interviews May Unlock Traumatic Stories.

• When Small Can Be Profound.

• How to Interview Someone Who Is Terminally Ill: Part One

• How to Interview Someone Who Is Terminally Ill: Part Two

• The Year of Magical Thinking.

• How Life Stories Can Benefit The Dying.

• How to Say Goodbye.

Photo by David Hsu

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In a previous post, 10 Great Reasons to Visit Victoria, BC, I extolled the virtues of my home town as the location for this year’s Association of Personal Historians conference. I know that coming up with the cash to attend a conference can raise questions of getting value for your money. Let me be frank. You’d be hard pressed to find another professional conference that gives you as much “bang for your buck” as the APH conference. I speak from experience. If you’re in the business of being a professional personal historian, you owe it to yourself to attend this conference. If you still need more convincing, here are 20 reasons to head to Victoria this November:

1. You’ll learn enough new insights, skills, and ideas to keep you fueled until next year’s conference.
2. You’ll meet friendly, seasoned veterans who’ll be happy to share their knowledge and experience with you.
3. You’ll have the chance to develop business partnerships with other personal historians.
4. You’ll make new friendships that will help sustain you in your business over the years.
5. You’ll enjoy the luxury of putting work aside for a few days.
6. You’ll be stimulated by dynamic keynote presentations.
7. You’ll find your “Tribe” and be energized by its members who have the same passion as you do for personal histories.
8. You’ll be able to share your work and experience in a supportive environment.
9. You’ll get to taste the delights of “Nanaimo Bars” and “Sidney Slices”. Yummy!
10. You’ll get to meet APH members  from your region.
11. You’ll be able to put a  a face to the “stars” who post regularly on the APH listserv.
12. You’ll become part of a vibrant group and return home feeling less isolated and alone in your work.
13. You’ll get to ask lots of questions.
14. You’ll have fun exploring Victoria, one of the world’s top travel destinations.
15. You’ll get to take in the  “bigger picture” of personal histories.
16. You’ll have epiphanies.
17. You’ll get to listen to and talk with experts that you’d not normally have a chance to meet.
18. You’ll discover new solutions to old problems.
19. You’ll have a chance to test out and refine your “elevator” speech because attendees will be asking you, “What do you do?”
20. You’ll get to meet me! Just kidding. But seriously I’m looking forward to meeting many of you at the conference.

© Sebastian Kaulitzki | Dreamstime.com

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My vote for the most unusual item in this  Monday’s Link Roundup is the “wireless tombstone”.  But if you’re looking for more substance, don’t miss Pat McNees’s comprehensive article on the beneficial effects of legacy work. I’ll admit to a bias, I was one of the people Pat interviewed  for the piece.

• Kill Busywork: The One Skill to Focus On What Matters. “Imagine everything you do could fall into one of three buckets: 1. Bad Work. 2. Good Work. 3. Great Work. I’m not talking about the quality of the work you deliver – I’ve no doubt that’s fine. I’m talking about the meaning the work has for you and the impact it makes. Let me explain.”

• New App Integrates Storytelling with Social Media. “Well, with Facebook anyway. I’ve written about many forms of Twitter storytelling, but Snipisode is the first storytelling app I’ve come across for Facebook. Snipisode, developed Agency Zen, lets you type or paste in a whole story and then with a click of a button snip up the story either by line or by punctuation — periods, question marks, or exclamation points. Then you choose a frequency for snips of the story to appear as status updates — daily or every two days.”

• Die-Fi: Wireless Tombstones. “[An]Arizona company Objecs announced today that it has developed “enhanced memorial products” that add Near Field Communications tags to cemetery markers, which allow text and photos to be “embedded” in a headstone and retrieved whenever a cell phone is touched against its surface.”

• The Beneficial Effects of Life Story and Legacy Activities by Pat McNees. [PDF]from the Journal of Geriatric Care Management. “We know, and research increasingly tells us, that life story writing and reminiscence can improve the mood and quality of life for adults with more years behind than ahead of them.”

• Ways to Leave a Family History Legacy. “What do I do now? is something I hear from readers every once in a while, as in, I’ve done all this research—now what should I do with it?”

• How to Write Your Healing Story: Interview with Linda Joy Myers. “In the latest Heart and Craft of Life Writing podcast, Linda Joy explains how writing literary memoir and integrating the story arc of our lives can lead to much deeper levels of insight than we can ever get from a pile of disconnected stories. In this wide ranging conversation she also talks about using our words, our stories, to create art.”

• Fab Forty. “Votes are in for the Family Tree Magazine 40 Best Genealogy Blogs. Come with us into a wonderful online world of family history news, research tips, encouragement and more.”

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1. Your story will get told. This is the most important benefit of all. Countless times  people have told me that they started working on their life story or that of a family member but never seemed to be able to get it finished. Hiring a personal historian means the work will get done on time and in a professional manner.
2. It’s more fun. Let’s face it, sitting alone with a blank computer screen or piece of paper and waiting for inspiration to strike can be daunting. We are by nature conversationalists. Sitting with a personal historian who is a skilled interviewer and empathetic listener makes telling your story an enjoyable experience.
3. Your story will be richer in detail. Because of the familiarity with your own story, you can easily miss details that others would find fascinating. You need a personal historian who is fresh to your story and has the skill to bring out the richness of your life’s journey.
4. A personal historian relieves you of the burden of  producing your book. Putting together a life story is an overwhelming undertaking for most people. From start to finish it requires a set of skills  that include – interviewing, editing, research, photo enhancement, design and layout, and printing.  A personal historian takes on these production tasks  and ensures that all are handled professionally.
5. A personal historian has the time. Are you someone who simply can’t find enough hours in a day to devote to working on your own story or that of a family member? Hiring a personal historian relieves you of the guilt of not putting in the time you need to get your life story or that of a family member told.

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Photo by iStockphoto

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The Association of Personal Historians  2009 Annual Conference is being held in  Valley Forge, Pennsylvania from  Oct. 21 – 25, 2009.  If you can get to only one conference this year, this is the one to attend.

Warning: Early bird registration ends on July 31st. If you want to save money click here. Non APH members can attend the conference but if you’re not yet a member, I’d encourage you to join the APH. The Conference fees are lower and you’ll receive a wealth of benefits that are well worth the membership fee.

I attended my first APH conference in Portland, Oregon,  in 2006. It was a great experience. Here’s what it did for me:

• Recharged my batteries: Meeting with and listening to the varied experiences of APH members got me excited about my chosen profession.
• Honed my skills: From workshops on marketing for introverts  to making demo reels to the therapeutic benefits of life stories, I soaked in new and valuable information.
• Inspired me: The keynote speakers and workshop leaders helped me see my work in a larger context and made me want to do more.
• Made new friends: I found personal historians are “my kind of people”. They’re good listeners. They’re enthusiastic. They’re helpful. I still keep in touch with several colleagues I met in Portland.
• Created a sense of community: Working on our own can sometimes feel daunting and lonely. I left Portland knowing that I was now part of a very vital and enriching community.

Revolutionary Perspectives is the theme for the 2009 APH conference. Paula Stahel, APH President, writes:

… this year’s conference theme,  is designed to help you transform and expand your awareness. The wide array of educational workshops and enlightening speakers will open your eyes to opportunities you can take advantage of immediately. Access to new information, ideas, technology, and connections will offer fresh insight on how to make your business thrive, not just survive, harsh economic times.

I really encourage you to go to this year’s APH conference. It’s an investment you won’t regret. I wish I could say that I’ll see you there but I’m caring for my 91 year-old mother and she’s my priority right now. One day I’ll be back at an APH conference. See you then!

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Memoir writing, gathering words onto pieces of paper, helps me shape my life to a manageable size.  By discovering plot, arc, theme, and metaphor, I offer my life an organization, a frame, which would be otherwise unseen, unknown.  Memoir creates a narrative, a life story. Writing my life is a gift I give to myself.  To write is to be constantly reborn.  On one page I understand this about myself.  On the next page, I understand that.

~ from Sue William Silverman’s Fearless Confessions:  A Writer’s Guide to Memoir (U of Georgia, 2009)

If you’ve been contemplating the writing of your own life story, this observation by Sue Silverman may convince you to start.  The effort it takes to craft the work  is more than amply rewarded by seeing your life, often for the first time, as a coherent and intricate pattern.

Photo by Colin Campbell

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It’s not about dinner but the kind of conversations you have with your family and the stories you tell.

Robyn Fivush ~ Professor of Psychology, Emory University

“The family is the first and most enduring group you belong to,” says Barbara Fiese, a psychology professor at Syracuse University. “It provides a sense of belonging for children, adolescents and adults so the individual doesn’t have to feel isolated.”

We help create this bond by sharing our  family stories from the past and the present. Research conducted by Dr. Robyn Fivush shows that parents who take the time to tell their children about family events, inside jokes, nicknames and family successes and failures  produce adolescents with higher self-esteem and self-confidence.

We owe it to our children not only to make dinner a time for the family to gather but also a time to share the richness of our family stories.

Photo by Kirsten Jennings

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I’ve had the opportunity over the past 15 years to be involved with people at the end of their lives, first as a documentary filmmaker and more recently as a personal historian and hospice volunteer. What I have learned from first hand experience and the growing body of academic research is that telling life stories can have a therapeutic effect on the dying. The process of recording and preserving life stories provides the terminally ill with:

• Affirmation: I’m more than my disease. Those caring for me have acknowledged all of me.

• Legacy: Something lasting will transcend my death. There’s hope that I will be remembered and that my story will provide some comfort to my family in their bereavement.

• Purpose: By doing this work there is still meaning to my life. I am contributing to others.

• Pattern: I see more clearly a purpose and meaning to experiences that often seem random and discontinuous.

• Support: Having a care provider, friend, family member or personal historian listen to my life story bears witness to who I am and the significance of my journey.

For any of you working with palliative care patients or caring for a dying family member,  I strongly encourage you to consider introducing some life story activity into your care.

Photo by jaded one

It seems that the ancient Medicine Men understood that listening to another’s story somehow gives us the strength of example to carry on, as well as showing us aspects of ourselves we can’t easily see.  For listening to the stories of others – not to their precautions or personal commandments – is a kind of water that breaks the fever of our isolation.  If we listen closely enough, we are soothed into remembering our common name.

~ from The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo

In reading Mark Nepo’s quote I’m reminded once again that the act of listening to another’s story benefits not only the story teller but also me, the listener. One of the great benefits of story gathering is that we become more profoundly aware of our interconnectedness -  joined as we are by our common humanity.

Photo by Josh Schwartzman

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