Tag Archives: death

Monday’s Link Roundup.

Laughter is therapeutic. In this Monday’s Link Roundup you’re sure to brighten your day by watching, Who Says Machines Must Be Useful? Another whimsical piece to make you smile and think is The Bookshelf Rethought: 5 Innovative Designs.  Be sure to check out Master brings books back to life. Paul Tronson, a master bookbinder, has spent 30 years trying to bring traditional bookbinding back as an art form.

  • A social media update from beyond the grave. “While virtual memorial websites have been around since the mid-1990s, traditionally they’ve helped the living venerate the dead. The latest crop, including I-Postmortem, a Silicon Valley start-up launched last fall, encourages the living to commemorate themselves, essentially writing their own obituaries.”
  • How To Work From Home Like You Mean It. “I’ve been working from home, a few different homes, since late 2007. And the biggest thing I’ve learned during those four years is that working from home doesn’t have to change how you get work done, but it does change nearly everything else about your gig.”
  • The Secret Bookstore. “Watch this beautiful video about Brazenhead Books, a secret bookstore that’s been tucked away in Michael Seidenberg’s apartment on the Upper East Side ever since the rent for his original retail space in Brooklyn was quadrupled.”
  • Who Says Machines Must Be Useful? “On the roof of a small row house in Brooklyn, a black powder fuse flared brightly against the gray sky. Hissing and sparking, it burned through a platform installed inside a repurposed Ikea bookshelf, sending four colored balls into action, lighting camp stoves, swinging fly swatters and knocking over books in a frenetic burst of organized chaos. In less than a minute, the final ball had dropped to the ground and was pocketed by Joseph Herscher, 26, the kinetic artist behind this real-world Rube Goldberg machine.”
  • An Author Explores Unique Codes to Enhance Memoir Experience. “Last week, Women’s Memoirs published an interview with memoir author Jenny Lynn Anderson, author of Room 939: 15 Minutes of Horror, 20 Years of Healing. When we looked at her book, we loved the innovative use she made of Quick Response codes.”
  • The Bookshelf Rethought: 5 Innovative Designs. “We love books. We love design. And we love the intersection of the two. Some time ago, we looked at five examples of public library innovation. But what about the personal library? Today, we’re turning to five gorgeous bookshelves that put a twist on your home library with ingenuity and design innovation.”
  • Master brings books back to life. “At the top of a narrow staircase on Sidney’s Beacon Avenue is a studio filled with vegetable-tanned leathers, tall glass jars of fermented dyes from plant extracts and a handcut lay press dating to about 1540.These are the tools and materials that master bookbinder Paul Tronson uses to bring rare books back to life.”

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Marge Curtis, May 1,1918 ~ December 18, 2011

Mom at twenty-three

Those of you who are regular readers of my blog know that every Monday is devoted to Monday’s Link Roundup. This Monday is different. Yesterday Mom died at Victoria Hospice at the age of ninety-three.

Mom always believed that when she transitioned to that other side, she’d be met by my Dad,  Ed Curtis, who died in 1990. I like to think she was right.  And whether by coincidence or design her death took place on their seventy-second wedding anniversary. They were married December 18, 1939.

Throughout my life Mom was one of my biggest fans and supporters. In many ways she introduced me to story telling at an early age. An avid reader, her favorite activity before going to sleep was to read a few pages from her latest book. Every morning I would eagerly run into her bedroom to sit by her bed. There, she would relate the latest installment – no doubt censoring some of the racy bits for the ears of an eight-year-old.

She also regaled me with stories from her teenage years when her family homesteaded in the wilderness of northern British Columbia.  Eagerly absorbed by a young boy were tales of encounters with grizzly bears, hunting, and snowy winter nights, hunkered down in their log cabin.

People have remarked that it’s sad that Mom’s death came so close to Christmas. In part that’s true. I certainly haven’t had time in the past few weeks to think much about the holiday season. But central to this time of year is the message of peace, comfort, and joy. And I’ve experienced all of those in a personal and profound way. Mom and I were surrounded at Victoria Hospice by loving and compassionate care. Her final days brought her comfort and her death was blessedly peaceful. And we had joyful moments – reminiscing about Christmases past, enjoying cups of her favorite tea from her favorite cup, and laughing at this comedy called life. One of the last things she said to me, opening her eyes briefly was, “Having fun?”

I miss her dearly. My world has changed forever. But surrounded and supported by my loving partner, friends, and colleagues I’ll carry on doing honor to those values she tried to instill in me – kindness, loyalty, grace, and a good sense of humor.

Thanks, Mom.

Warning: Documenting Your Life Story Could be Fatal.

grim-reaperNot really but we’re a superstitious bunch. Step on a crack, break your mother’s back. The number 13, black cats and walking under a ladder – all unlucky.  We can add another – writing your life story means death is imminent.  It sounds absurd but from my experience this fear is alive and well.

I’ve had adult children of aging parents approach me and say, “We’d like to get Mom’s life story recorded but we’re afraid she’ll  think that her time is almost up.” I’ve also had some folks in their 70′s tell me, “I’m not dead yet! I’ll get around to my life story later on.”

So what’s the basis of this reluctance? I think that none of us really wants to confront the fact that we’re mortal. Of course, we know that one day the lights will go out -  but not today, thank you very much and hopefully not for a long time. So when the idea of recording one’s life story comes up  it sounds as if we’re doing a wrap up – kind of like writing your will and pre-arranging your funeral. As I said, we don’t want to be reminded of our mortality.

What’s the solution? You need to confront the elephant in the room. Don’t skip around the question of mortality.  You might say something like, “You know Mom, you’re not getting any younger and sadly some day you won’t be around to tell us the wonderful stories of your life. You know so much family history. I know that one day your grandchildren and their chidren will be so grateful that you took the time to record your stories. Right now you’re in good health and able to do this. What do you think? Can we get started this week?”

If you encounter some hesitancy, ask Mom if there are questions she might have about the actual work itself.  She might want to know how long it will take or whether she has to remember dates and names and so on. If you answer all her questions and you still sense some reluctance, don’t push. If you push too hard she’s likely to dig in her heels and you’ll get nowhere. Just say something like, “You know Mom, let’s leave it for now and next week I’ll check in with you again. I really hope you’ll say yes to this. It would be such a wonderful gift.”

The time to begin a life story is now because we really don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

Photo by Robert Simmons

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The Life Story Quote of The Week

typewriter-hands

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.

Isaac Asimov (c. 1920 – 1992)  science fiction writer

Any of us may be only six minutes away from dying. We don’t know. Yet we live our lives as if somehow it will never come to an end. I frequently encounter people who keep putting off writing their life story or helping a parent with theirs, thinking that there will always be a tomorrow. Sadly, many of those stories never get told. I think we all need to “type a little faster” and get our stories down.

Photo by kev needham

Life Stories Not Just For People

For all of us who’ve ever lost a faithful pet, their death is a terribly painful experience. Now there are a growing number of companies who produce memorial pet videos. Most combine your favorite photos with music and deliver these on a DVD. Some of these pet legacies are more elaborate. Family Legacy Video a Tucson, Arizona based company can produce a documentary style video on your pet. Here’s what they have to say:

The foundation of your Pet Legacy Video™ is you – an on-camera interview where you recount your favorite memories and stories and talk about what your pet has meant, and continues to mean, to you. If your pet still lives and hasn’t crossed the Rainbow Bridge, he or she can appear on camera with you. Then, Family Legacy Video will tape you and your pet enjoying quiet times, having fun or doing whatever you most like to do together.

Other sites you might want to check out are Thomson Films and Diotte Video Design.

Photo by Roger H. Goun