Tag Archives: family stories

Monday’s Link Roundup.

Monday's Link Roundup

In this Monday’s Link Roundup my favorite piece is Why there really is no place like home.  For those of us who interview people about their lives, this lovely essay reminds us of the richness of stories wrapped up in our homes. Speaking of life stories, don’t miss A Story for Generations: Home Front Girl.  The author recounts what it was like writing her mother’s personal history.

  • A Story for Generations: Home Front Girl. “Imagine this: you have access to the diaries of your mother or father: Windows into your family’s past. Snapshots of moments of history. What would this process be like? To sift through documents, to piece together a life — and, ultimately, your own family history? Susan Morrison, the blogger and author at Home Front Girl Diary, has this very story to tell.”
  • How Can I Record Calls on My Smartphone? “As long as you’re just looking to record your consensual conversations with coworkers, you should be fine, but for everyone else, it’s a good idea to brush up on when it’s legal to record calls first. That being said, you have a few options.”
  • Why there really is no place like home. “Houses are such complex repositories. Everything we have lived and felt is there in the frame of a window that looks out to the trees, in the folds of the curtains, the cushions of a sofa, in the bathrooms we never liked and in the kitchens we adored, in the slope of a deck and in the sound and feel of the door that slapped shut when we let it close behind us. Purposeful and pragmatic and calming with their sensible roofs, their square proportions, their sturdy heft, the serious, watchful eyes of their windows, they have heard and seen everything.”
  • The Bookstore That Changed My Life. “The sign on the door said EXPERIENCED BOOKS. I found the store while wandering around my new neighborhood after moving to Salt Lake City. The door opened and a guy walking a dog exited. He said, “Go in man, you’ll definitely leave with something.” This reminded me of the shop in Stephen King’s Needful Things. But then, books remind me of everything, and everything reminds me of books.”
  • How to Use LinkedIn to Your Best Advantage. “While I don’t actively think about it, I do have goals for how I use LinkedIn. As a consultant, I want to be sure that prospective clients can find me. I have also used the site to ensure that potential employers or recruiters can find me, as well as to find employees or partners. I want to be seen as knowledgeable in my area of expertise, and connected both geographically and in my profession (digital content strategy). I’m also a big believer in karma, so I am happy to forward introductions or share prospective leads for jobs or projects. It may be odd, but I believe that “competitors” are extremely valuable people to know. Here are my recommendations about how to use LinkedIn to your best advantage.”

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Monday’s Link Roundup.

Monday's Link Roundup

In today’s Monday’s Link Roundup, don’t miss Memoir of time spent with Grandma reveals old truths, young wisdom.  I’ve read excerpts and it’s definitely on my list of must-read books. I love magazines and if you do too, you’ll want to take a look at The Art of Making Magazines. Thinking of using audio to compliment your marketing? You may be on the right track. Check out Is Audio The Next Big Thing In Digital Marketing?

  • I grew up in the future. “The future arrived much earlier in our house than anywhere else because my mother is an emerging technologies consultant…I would never want to be too far away from those who live and work perpetually in the vanguard, who have chosen that risky, Schrödinger’s Cat-like existence. Even after growing up with my mother and the remains of a hundred half-baked ideas, such people’s willingness to ride the wave, their foolhardiness and their bravery, still provokes awe in me.”
  • The Stories That Bind Us. “The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative…The [children] who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges…” [Thanks to April Bell of  Tree Of Life Legacies for alerting me to this item.]
  • In the Digital Era, Our Dictionaries Read Us. “With the spread of digital technologies, dictionaries have become a two-way mirror, a record not just of words’ meanings but of what we want to know. Digital dictionaries read us.”
  • The Art of Making Magazines. [Book review] “If a magazine still is what it’s been for almost three centuries—an ink-on-paper “storehouse” of writing, published on a regular schedule—then the “media industrial revolution” (to use Tina Brown’s awkward phrase) is surely in the process of rendering many of our magazines obsolete. Seen historically, The Art of Making Magazines—a collection of twelve lectures by esteemed editors, proofreaders, designers, and writers delivered over the last decade to graduate students at the Columbia School of Journalism—may have barely made its deadline.”
  • Memoir of time spent with Grandma reveals old truths, young wisdom.[Book review] “The Truth About Luck tells the story – charmingly and fitfully – of how the author, Iain Reid, decides to take his 92-year-old grandmother on a fantastical trip in order to bond with her. Immediately, Reid remembers that he is a cash-strapped writer who hates flying in planes, is the owner of a crummy, decomposing car and whose general constitution is, in many ways, far frailer than that of his grandma: a fearless, funny, sage-like woman who served as a nurse in Second World War.”

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Monday’s Link Roundup.

Monday's Link Roundup

In this Monday’s Link Roundup don’t miss Should you work for free? It looks at what it means to do the work of a professional and the difference between that and the work that goes into a hobby.  If you’re concerned about the proliferation of digital gadgets in our lives, then you’ll want to read Cyborg dreams. It examines the dangers inherent in the magic of new technologies.

  • Getting Over Your Self-Promotion Phobia. “…here are a few tips to help you nip your fear of self-promotion in the bud. When you overcome the perceived horrors of doing so, you will likely find that your business grows–and that self-promotion isn’t so bad after all. You may even grow to love it!”
  • 10½ Favorite Reads from TED Bookstore 2013. “I had the honor of curating a selection of books for the TED Bookstore at TED 2013, themed The Young. The Wise. The Undiscovered. Below are this year’s picks, along with the original text that appears on the bookstore cards and the introductory blurb about the selection:”
  • Should you work for free? “Work is what you do as a professional, when you make a promise that involves rigor and labor (physical and emotional) and risk. Work is showing up at the appointed time, whether or not you feel like it. Work is creating value on demand, and work (for the artist) means putting all of it (or most of it) on the line. So it’s not work when you indulge your hobby and paint an oil landscape, but it’s work when you agree to paint someone’s house by next week. And it’s not work when you cook dinner for friends, but it’s work when you’re a sous chef on the line on Saturday night.”
  • The Ghost in the Gulfstream. “Tapped by the late billionaire entrepreneur Theodore Forstmann to ghostwrite his autobiography, in 2010, the author found himself jetting off to Paris and London on Forstmann’s Gulfstream while the then chairman of IMG told tales of his legendary career as private-equity pioneer, philanthropist, and playboy. It was only when Rich Cohen sat down to actually write the book that the trouble began: an emotional tug-of-war that mirrored a central conflict in Forstmann’s life.”
  • Cyborg dreams. “Digital gadgets are the first thing we touch in the morning, and the last thing we stroke at night. Are we slaves to their magic?”
  • ‘Licking the Spoon’ by Candace Walsh. “…is a gastro-journey to self-discovery. It begins with a short family history, because Walsh’s family is instrumental in her life and cooking. Then it moves from her birth through her growing up on Long Island, her college years in Buffalo, her early twenties in New York City, her first marriage, divorce, and more. Through it all, Walsh narrates her life alongside the food that inspired and sustained her—from cookies baked at her mother’s side to thrifty split pea soup to “dinners of the defeated” to bacon-wrapped eggs with polenta. It’s a clever concept, and there is much to savor within these pages.”

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The 50 Best Questions to Ask Your Mother.

mother and daughter

How well do you really know your Mother? Chances are, not as well as you think.

With Mother’s Day not far off ( May 12), why not consider putting together a little recording or booklet about your Mother? The following questions are a good place to start.

[ Note: These questions assume a traditional family with Mom, Dad, and children. I'm aware that the wording of several questions might feel exclusionary for same sex partners with children. That's not my intent. The questions can be easily adapted to fit any family. ]

  1. Describe who you were as a little girl.
  2. What’s a favorite story from your childhood?
  3. What did you learn from your parents?
  4. How are you like and different from your Mother?
  5. How are you like and  different from your Father?
  6. Other than your parents, who was the most important person in your life when you were a child? And why?
  7. What’s a favorite memory from your elementary school days?
  8. As a young girl, what did you dream of being one day?
  9. How did your childhood shape the woman you are today?
  10. Tell me a story that involves you and your first boy friend.
  11. As an adolescent, what kind of mischief did you get into?
  12. Tell me about your first job.
  13. What did you work at the longest and what did you like about it?
  14. What didn’t you like about that job?
  15. Tell me how you and Dad met?
  16. What attracted you to him?
  17. What did you hope for in your married life?
  18. How did your married life meet your expectations?
  19. How are you and Dad alike and different?
  20. Tell me a story about a special time in your marriage.
  21. What have you learned about marriage that you’d like to pass on to others?
  22. How did having children change your life?
  23. What’s the best and worst thing about being a Mother?
  24. What words of wisdom do you have on parenting?
  25. What was an important road not taken?
  26. What have you been the proudest of in your life?
  27. Tell me a story that shows how you overcame an obstacle in your life.
  28. What would you say are your weaknesses?
  29. What’s a dream not yet fulfilled?
  30. What do you rely on to get you through the tough times?
  31. Describe a moment in your life that was filled with wonder.
  32. Who’s been the most important person in your adult life? And why?
  33. How would you describe your spiritual beliefs?
  34. What’s your view of an afterlife?
  35. What has always come easy to you?
  36. What are your three wishes for me?
  37. What do you admire about me?
  38. If you had one piece of advice for me, what would it be?
  39. What qualities do you admire in your friends?
  40. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? And why?
  41. What makes you laugh?
  42. What makes you sad?
  43. Whom do you admire most in the world? And why?
  44. What was the happiest time in your life?
  45. What’s unique about you?
  46. If you could change one thing in your life, what would that be?
  47. What’s the most amazing thing you’ve experienced in your life?
  48. Tell me something that people don’t know about you.
  49. If you had only one day to live, how would you live it?
  50. How would you like to be remembered?

If you found these questions helpful, you might also want to look at The 50 Best Life Story Questions.

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Image by iStockphoto

How to Ask Questions that Will Unlock Life Stories.

locks

“A storyteller who provided us with…a profusion of details would rapidly grow maddening. Unfortunately, life itself often subscribes to this mode of storytelling, wearing us out with repetition, misleading emphases and inconsequential plot lines…The anticipatory and artistic imaginations omit and compress; they cut away the periods of boredom and direct our attention to critical moments, and thus, without either lying or embellishing, they lend to life a vividness and a coherence that it may lack in the distracting wooliness of the present.” — Alain de Botton (The Art of Travel)

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Last week I wrote How to Get the Stories in a Life Story Interview.  I spoke about the need to draw on good storytelling techniques (i.e.,  surprising twists and turns, interesting characters, a sense of progression, etc.) when interviewing a client for a life story.

Today I want to focus on the kind of questions that will help unlock the stories.

What you want to think about as you’re interviewing a client is how do my questions help reveal the stories of this person’s life.

Avoid at all costs questions that lead to mind-numbing details that neither illustrate nor contribute to the story being told.

Now don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing inherently wrong with the minutiae of a life. But it must in some way enhance our appreciation of the overall story. For example, describing in some detail what an individual wore to school could nicely illustrate the story of how poor this person was compared to fellow classmates.

On the other hand, details about where an interviewee bought his shoes, what kind of shoes they were, their color, how well they fit, and how much his friends admired them will cause our eyes to glaze over – unless there’s a payoff.

To elicit stories  use prompts such as Describe, Illustrate, Paint, and Tell.

To illustrate, I’ve grouped together six pairs of life story queries. The first in each pair is  weaker than the second and on its own not likely to lead to much of a story. The second question is stronger and provides more opportunity for story telling.

Weak  “Where did you live?”
Strong  “Paint a picture for me of the place where you grew up.”

Weak “What did you do on summer holidays?”
Strong “What was one of your most memorable summer holidays?”

Weak “What is your grandchild’s name?”
Strong “Tell me a favorite story of you and your grandchild.”

Weak “What was a peak moment in your life?”
Strong “Describe a time when you felt on top of the world.”

Weak  “What regrets do you have in your life?”
Strong “Describe an incident in your past that you still regret.”

Weak “What was the hardest part of being a parent?”
Strong “Tell me a story that illustrates the challenges of being a parent.”

As personal historians we have an opportunity to turn the richness of a person’s life into an engaging and treasured story.

Remember the words of Ken Kesey.

“To hell with facts! We need stories!”

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Photo Credit: DaveBleasdale via Compfight cc

Encore! 5 Reasons You Should Consider a Video Life Story.

videoMost people when they consider a life story project think of a book. There are a lot of good reasons for producing a book. But I’ll be honest. I have a video bias because producing video personal histories is my specialty. I also produce books  but video is my passion. To see a sample of my work click here. So why should you consider a video for your or someone else’s  personal history? Here are five good reasons…Read more.

Encore! How to Start and Run a Personal History Business.

I’ve just finished Jennifer Campbell’s recent book  Start and Run a Personal History Business published by Self-Counsel Press. If you’re thinking of making personal histories a business, you owe it to yourself to get this book. Jennifer knows her stuff. She’s been a professional personal historian since 2002 and prior to that had a 25 year career as an editor, writer, and interviewer… Read more.

Monday’s Link Roundup.

This Monday’s Link Roundup will tickle the fancy of typography geeks. If you’re one who loves fonts, check out A Periodic Table Of Typefaces and 6 Variations on Drop-Cap Typography.

One of my favorite articles is Memories of Mom’s cooking. For those who are working with or caring for someone with dementia this is a must read.

  • What It’s Like To Write A Woman’s Life. “Women’s History Month starts on Thursday. All through March, Tell Me More will dig into inspiring, bold and sometimes disturbing stories of notable women — from Cleopatra to Coco Channel. To launch the biography series, host Michel Martin talks with two essayists about why it’s important to tell women’s stories, and how that storytelling has evolved.”
  • Why Memoir Matters. “… memoir can also be looked at as the most literary form of something most of us engage in, actively or passively, most of our lives and even after our deaths. I refer here to what academics call “life writing”…[it] refers to all the forms in which human lives get inscribed or represented, whether public or private, written or graphic, print or electronic, static or interactive. And the forms are constantly evolving and proliferating.”
  • Character Witness. “A far cry from staid desk jockeys, biographers regularly court ecstasy, terror and obsession in illuminating their subjects.” [Thanks to Pat McNees of Writers and Editors for alerting me to this item.]
  • Memories of Mom’s cooking. “It’s a cold, blustery day and I’m planning to cook a hearty beef stew with the help of my elderly mother. This may not sound remarkable, but it is when you consider she lives several hundred kilometres away in a complex care facility. With advanced vascular dementia, she spends much of her time roaming the halls in her wheelchair, asking the care aides if they’ve seen my father. He passed away two years ago.”
  • For Typography Geeks, A Periodic Table Of Typefaces. “USA-based designer Cam Wilde of Squidspot created a Periodic Table for typeface junkies.The ‘Periodic Table of Typefaces’ is “the style of all the thousands of over-sized Period Table of Elements posters hanging in schools and homes around the world,” according to Wilde. The Periodic Table features 100 of the most popular, influential and notorious typefaces of today.”
  • How Not To Hurry. “…often we compete by trying to show how busy we are. “I have a thousand projects to do!”, “Oh yeah? I have 10,000!”. The winner is the person who has the most insane schedule, who rushes from one thing to the next with the energy of a hummingbird, because obviously that means he’s the most successful and important. Right? Maybe not.Maybe we’re playing the wrong game—we’ve been conditioned to believe that busier is better, but actually the speed of doing is not as important as what we focus on doing.”
  • Book Design: 6 Variations on Drop-Cap Typography. “The tradition in book design of making the first letter in a paragraph larger than the rest of the type goes back pretty far. In fact, it predates printing entirely. This practice started with scribes…Today, this practice survives in the drop capitals we see at the beginning of chapters. But like everything else in book design, it’s best to be guided by the long traditions of bookmaking when deciding how to use them.”

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Monday’s Link Roundup.

This Monday’s Link Roundup has a couple of useful articles that’ll improve your website. After reading Are You Making These 7 Mistakes with Your About Page?,  I realized that I’ve got some work to do on my About Page. And How to Write is a pithy 10-point list that all bloggers need to take to heart. If you’re a personal historian and unfamiliar with Cowbird, you owe it to yourself to read Cowbird Debuts New Saga on Valentine’s Day. It’s another innovative way of collecting stories.

  • My Memoir Helped Me Reconnect With My Family. “The writing of Man Shoes was a legacy exercise for my sons that turned into a therapeutic exercise for myself. The healing and understanding that has come about through the writing of Man Shoes is miraculous. At fifty years of age, I am now a much stronger, more secure, happier, and more productive individual than I have ever been. Hopefully Man Shoes continues to inspire others in the coming months and years–just as it did me as I wrote it.”
  • Graphic Atlas. “…a new online resource that brings sophisticated print identification and characteristic exploration tools to archivists, curators, historians, collectors, conservators, educators, and general public.”
  • Cowbird Debuts New Saga on Valentine’s Day. “Email and text messaging have left many of us accustomed to instant gratification when it comes to communication, though impulsive tweets and status updates often lead to regret. Our methods of communication have evolved so rapidly, many of us can now tweet about anything (or nothing) within a few seconds. In the era of 140-character updates, when the lingo has become so foreign that you may need a translator to follow Twitter conversations, have our messages lost their depth? Jonathan Harris thinks so – and says his new project, Cowbird, houses personal, searchable storytelling – and may someday be the one-stop shop for an inclusive public library of human experience.”
  • How to Write. “On September 7th of 1982, advertising legend David Ogilvy sent an internal memo to all employees of his advertising agency, Ogilvy & Mather. The memo was entitled “How to Write,” and consisted of the following list of advice.”
  • A Way with Words. “Public radio’s lively language show.” [Thanks top Wendy Ledger of VoType for alerting me to this item.]
  • Best of the Blogs: Old School and New Skills. “Don’t have time to keep up with design and photography blogs? Keep calm and read on. In this blog round-up you’ll find the most popular fonts of 2011, an amazing type book from 1912, a Herb Lubalin video from the 1980s, and a Photoshop cooking demonstration from 2007. Plus, there are plenty of Photoshop how-tos, digital photography tips, and design ideas.”
  • Are You Making These 7 Mistakes with Your About Page? “…lots of website owners have an easier time proposing marriage than they do writing a solid About Page. If that’s you, you’re probably overcomplicating things. A good About Page is simple, straightforward, and it communicates just a few key things.”

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Don’t Do This!

Don’t worry. If you’re expecting this to be another New Year’s admonishment about unhealthy eating, excessive drinking, or lack of exercise, it isn’t. It’s about what not to do if you want to get the best life story interview with your client.

Recently there’s been some discussion among my colleagues at the Association of Personal Historians about the way to record life story interviews.  Some personal historians use a digital voice recorder. Others prefer taking notes by hand or typing the interview directly into their laptop.

The latter make it clear they can type as fast as people talk, edit on the fly, maintain eye contact, and save the time and costs of transcribing the interview. For those who take notes by hand, they explain that this helps them keep the story to the essentials.They may record the interview for reference to ensure the accuracy of quotes. All point out that this method of interviewing is what they’re comfortable with and their clients are happy with their work.

But achieving the best interview possible has nothing to do with the time and cost of transcriptions, what process a personal historian is most comfortable with, or editing on the fly. These are all factors that speak to the preferences of the personal historian not the quality of the interview.

5 good reasons to ditch the laptop and handwritten notes.

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1. An integral and invaluable part of any personal history is recording and preserving the spoken word. Hearing  a loved one’s voice is a precious remembrance for bereaved families and future generations. Personal histories involve more than assembling edited transcripts into a story.

2. Laptops and note taking are distracting. I know this from having been interviewed a number of times by journalists. Imagine for a moment that you’re  talking to a columnist. You’re pouring your heart out but she’s writing nothing down. Then you move on to something that seems insignificant and the writer starts scribbling furiously. You wonder why these comments  elicited such a response. It’s unnerving. It’ll be unnerving for your clients too.

3. Multitasking doesn’t work. There is now sufficient research to show that the mind can’t process more than one thing at a time.  People can’t type or take notes and be fully engaged with a client at the same time. Trust me. It can’t be done.

4. Editing decisions are best made after not during an interview. It’s not possible to tell what portions of a narrative need to be dropped until you have a feel for the whole story. An item that seems of little importance at the time of the interview may turn out to be a crucial element in the story.

5. Listening to your interviews improves your skills. There’s tremendous value in recording an interview and being able to play it back. I do it all the time. For one thing, it enables you to see what follow-up questions to ask. But equally important, it gives you an opportunity to assess your strengths and weaknesses as an interviewer.

Conclusion

Not all approaches are equal when it comes to recording personal histories.  Choose a good digital recorder and microphone over a laptop or handwritten notes. Your clients will thank you.

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Photo by DonkeyHotey