Victoria Inner Harbor

My regular readers  know that I recently took a two-week break at home. I previously wrote about “staycations”  in The Secret to a Successful “Staycation”.

Here’s  some added advice based on my recent experience.

• Be prepared for surprises and move on. These can be both good and bad. Mine were of the bad variety. Two days before my planned break my computer broke down. By the time I’d looked into repairing it, decided not to do so, bought a new computer, and caught up on the work I needed to do before taking off, my two weeks was reduced to ten days. But I still  made the most of the time left.
• Be flexible. I know that in my previous article on “staycations” I wrote about getting away from your computer. I decided that I needed to check my e-mails twice a day. Once in the morning and once at night. I didn’t want to have  hundreds of e-mail messages piled up when I got back. This worked for me. But it did take a conscious effort to stay away from my computer. There was the temptation to hang around and do more.
• Adjust your expectations. Before my break I’d built up in my mind an impressive list of things I was going to do. Truth is I would have needed a month to accomplish everything. So I pared away at my list. I focused on a few things I really wanted to do, like taking a day trip by ferry to Vancouver and seeing an old friend.
• Shake up routines. Because my life tends to be heavily scheduled, I wanted to avoid programming every minute of my holiday.  Some of my favorite times were spent sitting on my back patio doing nothing but watching the birds at the feeder and the clouds drifting by.
• Accept that a “staycation” is a break, not a holiday. If you expect that your “staycation” will give you the same feeling of escape and adventure as a trip away, you’ll be disappointed. I had hoped for more. But on reflection, I realize that I was able to take enough of a break that I feel ready to plunge into a very busy fall.

Would I do it again? The answer is definitely yes. But given what I’ve learned, I’d adjust some of my plans and expectations.

Photo by Evan Leeson

Happy Labor Day! I’m back from my “staycation” (somewhat) rested and ready to bring you more wonderful links. This Monday I highly recommend My father still laughed in the face of death. And for those of you interested in graphic design be sure to watch the trailer for Typeface.

Smalltopia: A Practical Guide to Working for Yourself. “…full of tips, tools, and strategies to help you create personal freedom through a very small business. Smalltopia is broken up into three sections: Philosophy, Business Essentials, and Case Studies. The ebook tells my personal story of escaping the rat race and the lessons I learned along the way.”

The Power of Storytelling: Creating a New Future for American Muslims. “In seventh-century Arabia, the storyteller was valued more than the swordsman. The audience sat on the floor surrounding the gifted orator as he captivated the eager listeners with beautiful poetry narrating their history. In the twenty-first century, the art form may have evolved to include motion pictures, TV shows, theater productions, novels, and stand-up comedy, but they all serve the same function: storytelling.”[Thanks to APH member Marcy Davis for alerting me to this item.]

My father still laughed in the face of death. “At the hospice he and his favourite palliative-care nurse would fall into fits of contagious laughter. It was his drug of choice.”

Home Life: A Journey Through Rooms and Recollections. “This is a memoir, but don’t be put off. Fox has organized her memories around a witty and beguiling conceit: rooms, homes, and spaces she has stayed in or, in the case of the Bordeaux room at the Metropolitan Museum, been enchanted by.” ~ from Booklist [Thanks to cj madigan of Shoebox Stories for alerting me to this item.]

Make the Most of Your Memory: 10 Tips for Writing About Your LIfe. “Because memoirs are categorized as nonfiction, you intend to “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,” right? But how can you be sure your words are true (and avoid controversy)? How can you tell the whole truth of your richly detailed life, when you can’t even remember what you had for breakfast yesterday? And if you aim to tell “nothing but the truth,” does that mean you can’t invent a little when certain facts escape you but are vital to the depth and/or coherence of the story?”

Typeface Official Trailer. “In a time when people can carry computers in their pockets and watch TV while walking down the street, Typeface dares to explore the twilight of an analog craft that is freshly inspiring artists in a digital age. The Hamilton Wood Type Museum in Two Rivers, WI personifies cultural preservation, rural re-birth and the lineage of American graphic design.” [Thanks to Marcy Davis for alerting me to this item.]

We Are All Cousins. “People are connected in surprising ways, says Elizabeth Shown Mills, CG, CGL, FASG, FNGS, FUGA — arguably the most influential genealogist of our time. Learn from the best with the NGS Online Video Series, produced by award-winning filmmakers Kate Geis and Allen Moore, featuring today’s most distinguished genealogy experts.”

For those of you interested in helping terminally-ill people tell their stories, you’ll find this collection of previous articles of some help.

• A Personal List of Books on Dying.

• Life Stories and Palliative Care. When Time Is Running Out, What Do You Focus On?

• Caution: End-of-Life Interviews May Unlock Traumatic Stories.

• How to Establish a “Life Stories” Hospice Program: Part One

• How to Establish a “Life Stories” Hospice Program: Part Two

• How Life Stories Can Benefit The Dying.

• How to Interview Someone Who Is Terminally Ill: Part One

• How to Interview Someone Who Is Terminally Ill: Part Two

Photo by Derrick Tyson

While I’m enjoying some time off, my mind is never far from marketing. Here’s a selection of some of my previous posts on the subject.

• 5 Tips to Overcoming Your Marketing Blues.
• How to Retain Clients Who Can’t Afford You.
• Ten Tips for Creating a Great Business Card.
• #1 Secret to Getting More Clients.
• The Introvert’s 12 Step Plan for Painless Networking.
• How to Ace Your Next Media Interview.
• Attention Introverts! You Can Market Successfully.
• 25 No Cost or Low Cost Marketing Ideas for Your Personal History Business.
• Are You Doing a Good Job of Conveying the Value of Personal Histories?
• Lousy at Getting Referrals? Here’s Some Help.
• Eight Lessons My Mom Taught Me About Marketing.
• Are You Using Storytelling to Promote Your Personal History Service?

• Doing oral history: a practical guide by Donald A. Ritchie. A Google Book. ”Doing Oral History has become one of the premier resources in oral history. It explores all aspects of the field, from starting an oral history project, including funding, staffing, and equipment to conducting interviews; publishing; videotaping; preserving materials; teaching oral history; and using oral history in museums and on the radio. In this second edition, the author has incorporated new trends and scholarship, updated and expanded the bibliography and appendices, and added a new focus on digital technology and the Internet. Appendices include sample legal release forms and information on oral history organizations.”
• New! Browse the Complete Popular Science Archive.“We’ve partnered with Google to offer our entire 137-year archive for free browsing. Each issue appears just as it did at its original time of publication, complete with period advertisements.”
• TeleKast Is a Snazzy Open Source Telepromter App.“Windows/Linux: Whether you want to produce an amateur news segment, deliver a teleprompted speech, or just record a video message without a lot of “ums”, free, open-source application TeleKast is a solid desktop teleprompter worth checking out.”
• The Beneficial Effects of Life Story and Legacy Activities by Pat McNees. [PDF]from the Journal of Geriatric Care Management. “We know, and research increasingly tells us, that life story writing and reminiscence can improve the mood and quality of life for adults with more years behind than ahead of them.”
• Top 100 Blogs to Improve Your Writing in 2010. “Here is a list of 100 blogs that will help you improve your writing by providing inspiration, motivation, creativity and new techniques from experts, freelancers, and editors from every genre.”
• This I Believe. “…an international project engaging people in writing and sharing essays describing the core values that guide their daily lives. Over 70,000 of these essays, written by people from all walks of life, are archived here on our website, heard on public radio, chronicled through our books and television programming, and featured in weekly podcasts. The project is based on the popular 1950s radio series of the same name hosted by Edward R. Murrow.”
• Fair Use & Copyright. “Fair use is the right, in some circumstances, to quote copyrighted material without asking permission or paying for it. Fair use enables the creation of new culture, and keeps current copyright holders from being private censors. With the Washington College of Law, the Center for Social Media creates tools for creators, teachers, and researchers to better use their fair use rights.”

In 2008 I wrote and posted this seven-part, self-directed Ethical Will Course. I felt it was time to bring it back and make it available to those of you who may have missed it the first time.

• Ethical Wills 101: Part One ~ How to Begin

• Ethical Wills 101: Part Two ~ Discovering Our Values

• Ethical Wills 101: Part Three ~ Expressing Gratitude

• Ethical Wills 101: Part Four ~ Life Lessons Learned

• Ethical Wills 101: Part Five ~ Expressing Forgiveness

• Ethical Wills 101: Part Six ~ Regrets, Achievements and Hopes

• Ethical Wills 101: Part Seven ~ Putting It All Together

Photo by Caitlin Heller

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• Nine Secrets of A Good Interview.

• Do You Make These Interviewing Mistakes?

• How to Boost Your Interviewing Skills.

• Avoid These Three Interviewing Pitfalls.

• What I’ve Learned About Getting “Truthful” Interviews.

• How to Listen With Your Third Ear.

• Are You Creating a Supportive Milieu for Your Personal History Interviews?

• 4 Action Steps to a Good Life Story Interview.

• How to Interview A “Challenging” Subject.

• How to be An Engaged Listener.

• How to Interview Someone with Dementia.

Photo by iStockphoto

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The questions which one asks oneself begin, at least, to illuminate the world, and become one’s key to the experience of others.
~ James A. Baldwin

Imagine that you’re coming to the last chapter of a book or the final hour of a video life story you’re doing.  It may be your own or it could be a story you’ve been hired to record. Every detail has been covered from childhood to the present. How can you wrap up this life story in a way that feels satisfying? As a colleague said, “The book is ending; the life is not.”

An approach of mine that you might try is to use the final chapter to explore what I call contemplative questions. These are questions that go to the core values and beliefs of a person -  such things as life lessons learned, regrets and successes, hopes for the future, expressions of forgiveness and gratitude, and spirituality.

While some of this content may arise naturally in the course of recounting a life, it’s useful to focus on it at the end. Why? Because as a personal historian I find that my clients and I have developed a rapport by the end of hours of interviewing. There is a level of trust and comfort that is more conducive to sharing heartfelt convictions.

Another reason for covering this material at the end is that by that point a person has looked back on their life and examined it in detail. This process of recollection naturally begins to raise existential questions.

One lesson I’ve learned though is that these contemplative questions should never be sprung on people. The first time I tried this,  my poor client stared at me like a deer caught in the headlights. People need time to reflect and compose their answers in a calm and unhurried manner. Now I hand out the contemplative questions to my clients a week or two in advance so they have  time to think them over.

There’s no right way to end a life story. But if you’re searching for an approach that works, I’d recommend using a series of contemplative questions. You can find a sample of contemplative questions in a previous post here.

For other examples of contemplative questions, check these out. Not all the questions may be suitable in your case, but you’ll find plenty that are.

• 99 Powerful Questions to Ask
• How to Discover Your Life’s Purpose – 7 Questions to Ask
• A List of 100 Questions to Know Someone Better

Image by Dan Curtis from a photo by Per Ola Wiberg

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I love people, but I must admit I can’t be around them continually. It drains me. Hello, my name is Dan and I’m an introvert.

I previously wrote  Attention Introverts! You Can Market Successfully.  Now I’d like to turn my attention to another challenge for introverts – conferences. If the thought of spending days  submerged in a sea of people is daunting, don’t despair. This article is for you.

Believe me, you can be introverted and still enjoy a conference. The Association of Personal Historians conference in Victoria this November is going to be a blast!  Not to be missed. I’ll be there, armed with my Introvert’s Survival Guide. Here are some tips I’ve picked up over the years.

• Make space for downtime. By all means, attend all the workshops and keynote events that look interesting. But don’t fill your day with wall-to-wall events. Escape to your hotel room for an hour to read, nap, or just stare into space. I find going for a walk outside helps recharge my batteries.

• Avoid a hotel roommate. The last thing you need is to have the stress of dealing with a roommate when you just want to relax. If you’re budget minded and plan to share, here’s my advice. Make every effort to find a fellow introvert. Or failing that, at least someone you know who can respect your need for quiet.

• Exit conversations gracefully. It might be at a coffee break, meal, or in the hallway,  but there’ll be times you need to escape from yet another conversation. Make sure you have a few handy exit lines to draw on such as “I’m sorry, but I need some time to freshen up before the next workshop.” “I’m sorry, but I have a call I need to make.” “I promised to meet up with someone and I need to find them. You’ll have to excuse me.”

• Make meaningful connections. I find I’m at my best one-on-one.  I make it a point to prepare a list of a few key people I want to see at a conference. Then I set up appointments with those individuals to meet over a coffee or drinks.

• Have a conference “extrovert” buddy. This can be a friend, colleague, or someone you meet at the conference. Extroverts love meeting new people and can be the perfect partner at mixers and parties. They’ll introduce you to all kinds of people. No need to stand in the shadows!

• Consider an “off site” spot or room service for a meal. I’m not one to enjoy my breakfast with a cast of hundreds. When I can, I look for a nearby cheap and cheerful café to get away from the crowds. Treat yourself to the occasional meal out or room service. It’ll do wonders for your soul.

Photo by Luke Stearns

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Ever get a “teensy” bit tired of all those gung-ho blogs dedicated to productivity and success? It’s time for some balance. Let’s talk about good old-fashioned failure. For all you personal historians who are  run off your feet with  clients’ demands, here’s your escape plan. Follow these 12 tips and you  can’t help but fail successfully.

Do you have some great failure tips? Let me know.

1. Don’t listen to clients. This is perhaps the most important step. You’re the one with experience, not your clients. Forget what they think they want. You know best. The sooner you turn a deaf ear to their wishes, the quicker you can lose them and fail.
2. Keep clients waiting. You don’t want to look too eager. Leave that e-mail reply and return telephone call until you feel in the mood. It’s less stressful and gives the impression you’re too busy to get back to them. Remember the longer you wait, the better the chance of failure.
3. Stop marketing. It’s not fun anyway. If people don’t know about you, then you won’t be bothered by pesky clients. Failure is guaranteed.
4. Enroll in courses, workshops, and seminars. The trick here is to load up your plate with as many educational opportunities as you can squeeze into a day. This not only makes you terribly busy but leaves absolutely no time for clients.
5. Rate yourself with other more successful business owners. Nothing can make you feel more depressed than comparing your own efforts with successful entrepreneurs. The more despondent about your own business, the quicker you can give up.
6. Watch daytime television. Who says there’s nothing on daytime TV? It’s jam-packed with entertaining shows. Better yet, find a few programs with an educational bent. You know the ones about home makeovers and cooking. That way you can convince yourself that you’re gaining valuable knowledge while glued to the set for hours on end.
7. Fake competence. Assure clients that you’re capable of delivering on any type of personal history format their heart desires.  Never produced a video biography? No problem. Never created a book? Piece of cake. The results  will inevitably disappoint your client and ensure that bad word of mouth will drive others away.
8. Fail to meet deadlines. People are much too obsessed with deadlines. Not to worry. You’ll deliver when you can. No need to add stress to your life. As a bonus client killer, don’t bother returning their calls. They probably just want to find out when their project will be delivered.
9. Spend your day on Facebook and Twitter. It’s so important to keep abreast of your friends’ activities and let them know your latest news. Working on your client’s project really eats into important social networking time.
10. Attend to household chores. Working from home allows you to see what needs to be done. Your office calls out for a major clean-up. The kitchen could use a new paint job. Put your client’s work on hold. After all, your needs are just as important as theirs.
11. Over promise and under deliver. Clients can be far too picky.  When you told clients they could include as many photographs as they wanted in their book, you didn’t literally mean that. Really, it just takes too much time to scan all those images. Select a sample of ten photos. This is sure to disappoint your client.  Bingo! Someone else who’ll help drive people away from your services.
12. Don’t ask for referrals. Why do you want more clients? You need time to work on your hobbies and household chores. There’s no room for more clients. Besides, asking for referrals just seems so needy.

Photo by James Jordan

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