what to avoid | Dan Curtis ~ Professional Personal Historian

A reader recently asked, “Two people have consented to [an ethical will] but I think video taping them would be more personal for the receiving family. Can you see some possible landmines?” This was my reply.

There are several things to be cautious of when undertaking a video ethical will.

First ensure that your clients prefer a video rather than an audio or printed ethical will. Some people suffering from a terminal illness don’t want their families to have a lasting image of their decline.

Will you have your clients speak directly to the camera or to you off screen? While speaking directly to camera can be effective for an intimate presentation like this, it can be intimidating for someone not used to facing a camera.

Preparing an ethical will requires a good deal of reflection. Your clients will need time – perhaps a week or more to fashion responses to the questions posed by an ethical will. I would suggest that, if at all possible, have them work on writing down their thoughts before actually videotaping their responses.

Avoid having your clients rehearse their responses. This sounds like a contradiction of my previous point but it’s not. You want people to have given sufficient thought to their ethical will but you don’t want them to become fretful about getting it “right”. This will end up producing results that are stiff and not natural.

Be aware that you may unlock some painful memories. How comfortable are you with sadness, tears, and anguish? Do you have a counselor you can recommend to your client should things become more than you can handle?