Stop Struggling and Succeed!

I spent this past weekend on a silent Buddhist Insight Meditation retreat. I’ve been practicing Insight Meditation regularly for over a decade and twice a year attend a two-day retreat. It’s hard work and useful insights arise. The most useful is the discovery that forcing yourself to be calm only makes the mind and body more tense. Struggling doesn’t work. It’s like training a dog to “stay”. It requires patience. You can’t force it. You have to gently and repeatedly bring the dog back, sit it down, and tell it to “stay”. Eventually it catches on. The mind works the same way. In order to change old ways or learn new ones we need commitment, practice, and patience.

This got me thinking that too often we fail to succeed in our work and life, not because we don’t try hard enough but that we try too hard. When we struggle, we eventually get burned out, discouraged, and give up or look for magical solutions. So how can we apply the wisdom of Insight Meditation in a practical way to our work? Here’s a six step approach you might try:

Write down a goal you want to achieve. Remember to make your goal S.M.A.R.T. i.e., Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely or Tangible. For example, you might write down: I will increase the number of people receiving my newsletter by 10% by July 31st, 2010. Now commit yourself to this goal. It helps to make it public. Tell your friends, colleagues, and partner the goal you’ve set for yourself.
Determine the next step. I suggest using the Get Things Done method pioneered by David Allen. Learn more here. Determine each action needed to get one step closer to completing your goal. Using the example above you might write down as your first step: Google – how to newsletter marketing. The second next step could be: Identify three articles and bookmark them. The third step: Read the three articles.
Set up a schedule. Make a commitment to complete at least one action step a day. Mark a specific time in your calendar that you’ll do this work. By completing a task a day you’re in effect training your mind to work in a systematic, scheduled, and productive manner. It’s like the dog training analogy.
Be patient. This is really important. There are going to be times when life gets in the way and you can’t complete one of your daily action steps. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Acknowledge that other priorities have made it impossible to work on your goal and commit yourself to picking up where you left off the next day. Likewise, you may find that you have to go back and repeat some action steps before moving on. That’s okay. As long as you’ve made a commitment to reaching your goal, you’ll get there.
Check for signs of struggle. If you’re like me, it’s easy to fall into struggling. It tends to be my default position. Here are some common warning signs that you’re into struggle. Your energy level drops at about the same time as you begin your scheduled task. Your inner critic begins to sow doubt. It says things like, “This is a waste of time. Who told you that you could achieve this goal? You’ll never be successful.” You become more easily annoyed. You lose interest in your work. Nothing seems to be working as you’ve planned.
How to avoid struggling. First, be aware of the warning signs so that you can pull back. Next, ask yourself if you’ve been trying too hard. Maybe an action step each day is too much given your schedule. If so, plan a routine that works better. Make sure to acknowledge each of the steps you complete. Note that you’re moving steadily toward your goal, one small step at a time. Take a break. Forget about your goal and you action steps for a short time. Do something that you know relaxes you.