Valentine’s Day is only a few weeks away. This year rather than the usual flowers or chocolates for your sweetie, try some of these unique ways to say, “I love you.”
- Find a piece of beautiful stationary and handwrite a letter describing all the things that you’re grateful for in your relationship. Be specific. For example, don’t just say, “I’m grateful for your encouragement.” Rather write something like, “When I was unsure about taking that new job, you were there for me. I remember how you talked me through all the reasons I could do it. Thank you for all the ways you give me encouragement.”
- Gather together a selection of all of the great photos taken of the two of you over the years and put the best into a photo collage. Have it printed and put into a beautiful frame.
- Say it with music. If you want to find out the #1 song playing the day you met or got married, you can go to this great site #1 Song on This Date . There you’ll be able to locate the song and go directly to the iTunes store and download it. Surprise your loved one by playing it on Valentine’s Day.
Photo by Timothy K. Hamilton
My work both as a hospice volunteer and as a personal historian involves helping people record their stories at life’s end. When we know our time is limited it can focus our mind on what is truly important. There are many ways of saying goodbye. Some people choose an ethical will, something that I’ve written about in previous posts. Others prefer a video or book that chronicles their life. For some it could be a scrapbook filled with a lifetime of memorabilia. And still others put together a photo book that graphically highlights a life lived.
The other day my friend Gwyn alerted me to her son’s blog. Rob Jones has created a wonderful site devoted to the music he loves. It’s called The Delete Bin and what caught my attention were his list of 10 songs about death. One of them was written and sung by Warren Zevon after he knew he had only a short time to live. It is a poignant and powerful reminder that we all need to find a way to say goodbye…even if we are well and hope to go on living for some time. The truth is we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Take a listen. Maybe there’s a poem or song in you that needs to be written now, to those you love.
Photo by Tanakawho
Thanks to Jill Paulson at A Matter of Memories I was introduced to “Say What You Need to Say” by John Mayer. I think it’s a terrific reminder of how important it is to talk to those we love and say what we need to say. It has become, at least for now, my anthem for the work I do as a personal historian.
At the end of a person’s life, whether from age or a terminal illness, it has been shown that giving people an opportunity to tell their life stories can be of real benefit. But we don’t need to wait for death to be knocking on our door, we can start today to capture our memories and the memories of loved ones.
I’ve included the lyrics to “Say What You Need to Say” because it helped me appreciate John’s song even more. Enjoy!
Say What You Need to Say
Take all of your wasted honor.
Every little past frustration.
Take all of your so called problems,
Better put ‘em in quotations.
Say what you need to say
Walkin’ like a one man army,
Fightin’ with the shadows in your head.
Livin’ up the same old moment
Knowin’ you’d be better off instead
If you could only…Say what you need to say
Have no fear for givin’ in.
Have no fear for giving over.
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.
Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.
Even as the eyes are closin’,
Do it with a heart wide open.
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to, Say what you need to…
Say what you need to say.