Over the years I’ve trained novices in the art of the interview. I’ve noticed that inexperienced interviewers are frequently missing what I’d call their Third Ear. I’m not talking about steroid induced mutant ears. This is about listening at a deeper level than we are usually accustomed. At a basic level we hear the words being spoken to us. With our Third Ear we pick up what isn’t being said. We notice the missing content and we intuitively sense that there is something more going on than appears on the surface. The most effective interviewers are those who’ve mastered the use of their Third Ear.
Let’s look at a sample of fictional interview dialogue to illustrate my point. Sample A shows an interviewer without the Third Ear.
Sample A:
Interviewer: When was a time you felt most alive?
Subject: Times when I was most engaged in the moment.
Interviewer: I see. Tell me more.
Subject: Well, when the world was my oyster.
Interviewer: Right. Your oyster. My next question is about regrets.
Now let’s look at the same interview but with an interviewer using the Third Ear.
Sample B
Interviewer: When was a time you felt most alive?
Subject: Times when I was most engaged in the moment.
Interviewer: When would have been a time when you felt engaged in the moment?
Subject: Well, when the world was my oyster.
Interviewer: Give me an example of when the world was your oyster.
Subject: Well the time I received a prominent award for my book. I was the toast of the town. Everyone wanted to interview me. It was great!
Interviewer: That does sound fantastic. I may be wrong but I sense that it wasn’t all wonderful.
Subject: Yeah, you’re right. It eventually led to some real strains on my marriage.
I hope the distinction between the two samples is clear. In Sample A, the interviewer doesn’t go for detail and misses out on an important aspect of the story. On the other hand, in Sample B the interviewer digs deeper for concrete examples and relies on her intuition to uncover a richer story.
Developing your Third Ear takes time and practice. It require that you be fully present and focused on what your interview subject is saying. And it means that you have to cut through vague, general statements and get to specific details. This, combined with trusting your intuition, will begin to pay off in better interviews.
Photo by Vanessa David
