How to be An Engaged Listener.

engaged-listening In previous posts I’ve written about useful techniques for interviewing: How to Listen with Your Third Ear and Nine Secrets of A Good Interview. “The interview” is a key component of a life story project. Being a good interviewer means being an engaged listener. Here are six tips that’ll help you become more engaged with the person you’re interviewing.

Establish eye contact. Don’t fix your subject with a “steely” stare but do check to make certain you’re not gazing off into the distance.
Use appropriate facial expressions. If the story you’re hearing is funny – smile or laugh and if it’s serious or sad – look compassionate. Nod your head to signal you understand or agree with what’s being said.
Use verbal cues. In order to indicate that you’re actually listening use expressions such as, “I see.” “Uh, huh.” “Interesting.” “Mmm.” “Wow.”
Ask for clarification. Don’t be afraid to interrupt politely and ask your subject to explain something that’s not clear to you. If it’s not clear to you, chances are it’s not going to be clear to others.
Provide a brief recap or summary. This should be used judiciously – after a pause or before you move on to another topic. Summarizing demonstrates that you’re actively listening. It will sometimes prompt your subject to add more detail or explain more clearly.
Acknowledgment. If your subject has just finished telling you a touching or revealing story, don’t abruptly move on to your next question. Make sure you pause and add a sentence or two that acknowledges your subject’s feelings. For example, if you’ve been told about a lifelong regret over not completing university studies, you might say something like, “I can see that you’ve struggled with this for a long time. It must be very hard.”

What tips do you have for being an engaged listener? Love to hear from you.

Photo by McBeth