A reader recently asked, “Two people have consented to [an ethical will] but I think video taping them would be more personal for the receiving family. Can you see some possible landmines?” This was my reply….Read more.
Posted in End of life, Ethical will, How to, Tips, Video production
Tagged Ethical will, Family, How to, Tips, video, videotaping, what to avoid
Ethical Wills aren’t new. In fact they go back to Biblical times. But it’s within the last few decades that they’ve grown in popularity. People feel the need to leave something more than their worldly possessions. They want to convey to loved ones what they value, what has made their life meaningful, the hopes they have for their family and friends, lessons learned, and their regrets and achievements.
An excellent place to start composing your own Ethical Will is with Susan Turnbull’s The Wealth of Your Life: A Step-by-Step Guide for Creating Your Ethical Will. This is the third edition of her popular book first published in 2005.
Having designed and run numerous workshops on Ethical Wills myself, I was eager to work through Susan’s guide. To begin with it looks gorgeous. In fact it looks so good I was hesitant to begin writing in it! The 40 page guide is divided into 5 steps: imagining your audience, opening lines, reflecting and making notes, integrating your thoughts, and composing your Ethical Will.
A number of the changes in the Third Edition are cosmetic – changing fonts, redesigning the layout, and adding new visual elements. The core content, however, remains basically unchanged.
What’s new is that some of the steps have been expanded and are easier to follow. This is particularly true in Step Three: Creating Your Ethical Will which is the core of the guide. It’s divided into five themes: your feelings, your values, your perspective, your history, and your will or estate plan.
I know from experience how difficult it is to identify core values. It’s not something we’re asked to do every day. Step Three’s Your Values theme has been improved by the addition of a referral list of 82 values. To further aid readers to discover their values they’re asked to write down An activity or role that gives my life meaning and purpose. Then they’re prompted to identify The personal values that are reflected. And finally, readers are asked to consider The biggest reward of that activity/role. These prompts helped me see more clearly why some activities had meaning and purpose in my life.
I worked my way through all the sections of the guide and found that the prompts really helped me extract the juice from my life. All that remains now is to take all my notes and complete writing my Ethical Will.
It would have been helpful to include in the guide a few tips on the process of preparing an Ethical Will. We’re all different in how we like to do things but these few suggestions would give readers some guidance.
If you’re curious about Ethical Wills and looking for guidance in composing one, I highly recommend you pick up a copy of The Wealth of Your Life. Remember the words of Bertrand Russell, “One must care about a world one will not see.”
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Posted in Ethical will, How to, Tips, Writing
Tagged Ethical will, Philosophy, Religion and Spirituality, study guide, Susan Turnbull, Wills, Writers Resources, Writing
In 2008 I wrote and posted this seven-part, self-directed Ethical Will Course. I felt it was time to bring it back and make it available to those of you who may have missed it the first time…Read more.
Posted in Courses, Ethical will, How to, Writing
Tagged creating, Ethical will, Ethical will course, How to, Religion and Spirituality, step-by-step guide, values, Writing
“My friends, love is better than anger.
Hope is better than fear.
Optimism is better than despair.
So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic.
And we’ll change the world.”
~ Jack Layton, (1950-2011) MP and Leader of the Official Opposition, Canada
These were the inspirational closing words of a farewell letter to Canadians written by Jack Layton days before he died on August 22nd.
While not known widely outside his native land, Layton held a special place of affection and admiration for Canadians. This could be seen in the unprecedented outpouring of sorrow during a week that culminated in his state funeral on August 27th in Toronto.
Globe and Mail columnist Sandra Martin in her article Why a farewell letter can comfort and inspire wrote:
Jack Layton wasn’t the first person to send a public deathbed letter to friends, colleagues and supporters and he won’t be the last…Memories fade or become altered with time, but a letter is a literary document that retains its original text and ensures that your words– rather than somebody else’s interpretation of them–are passed on…Writing a farewell letter, even in conjunction with others, forces you to think deeply and hard about the message you want to send and how you to express it… For mourners, the letter can become a talisman. You can carry it in your pocket, consult it when grief wallops you, and reread it like a gospel to help you make decisions in keeping with the deceased’s wishes.
Reading Martin’s article, I was reminded of the value of these “legacy” letters. Even if we’re not dying, a legacy letter, sometimes called an ethical will, can be a source of comfort for those who will one day be left behind. I’ve written about ethical wills in a previous article What Do Sidney Poitier and Ethical Wills Have In Common?
For those of you interested in writing your own or in teaching others to write an ethical will, check out my free Ethical Will Course here.
Have you written your legacy letter yet?
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A reader recently asked, “Two people have consented to [an ethical will] but I think video taping them would be more personal for the receiving family. Can you see some possible landmines?” This was my reply.
There are several things to be cautious of when undertaking a video ethical will.
If you’re interested in learning more about ethical wills, check out my previous articles:
If you enjoyed this post, get free updates by email.
Image by Mark Chadwick
Posted in End of life, Ethical will, How to, Tips
Tagged Ethical will, How to, Tips, videotaping, what to avoid
I was talking to a friend the other day and she mentioned Sidney Poitier’s latest book, Life Beyond Measure: Letters to My Great-Granddaughter. In it the aging actor writes a series of inspirational letters to his newly born great-granddaughter. Drawing on his own experience, he reflects on some of life’s profound themes – love, faith, death, personal strengths, and failures. This isn’t so much biography as it is an elder’s advice for a great-granddaughter Poitier knows he will never see into adulthood. You can read a review here.
Poitier’s book is really an elaborate, extended ethical will. Unlike property wills, an ethical will is a “spiritual” letter to a loved one in which a person writes about their values and beliefs, life lessons learned, hopes, what they’re grateful for, faith, and forgiveness.
We all owe it to those we love to take the time to compose our ethical will. None of us know how much time we have on earth. Accidents, illness, and violent acts can cut our lives short. How do you want to be remembered?
Here are some other ethical will websites you might find helpful.
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Image created by Dan Curtis from a photo by Kevin Walsh
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