Last week I was doing some spring cleaning and came across a collection of letters I had written to my parents some forty-five years ago. At the time, I was a young man teaching in Ghana. After University I’d joined CUSO, a Canadian voluntary organization similar to the Peace Corps, and had been assigned to the West African country for two years. I’d asked my mother to keep these letters as a partial record of my experience…Read more.
Posted in Inspiration, Life stories, memoir, Personal historian, Writing
Tagged aerogram, Canada, CUSO, Ghana, How to, Inspiration, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, letters, life story, memories, memory triggers, third chapter, Tips, West Africa, Writing
Why do some succeed and others fail? In a word – persistence. It’s that ability to get knocked down, pick yourself up, and keep going. Success of course is entirely in the mind of the beholder. Success to one person is failure to another…Read more.
Not long ago I was asked to audio record some final words from a young mother who was dying from cancer. I’ll call her Sonia to protect the family’s privacy. She was in her early thirties and she wanted to leave something for her only child, a five-year-old boy…Read more.
Posted in End of life, Inspiration, Interviewing, Life stories
Tagged audio legacy, child, End of life, interview, legacy, Life stories, mother's dying words, wisdom
copyright © 2010 gapingvoid gallery - reprinted with permission
Not long ago I discovered this wonderful cartoon and its accompanying text by Hugh MacLeod. I found it inspiring and thought to myself, … Read more.
You’re not alone. Research shows that the majority of all resolutions fail within 6 months. So why do we bother?
I think we make resolutions because we want to be better people. We see weaknesses and want to fix them. There’s nothing wrong with this impulse but there’s a better way of going about it than making resolutions.
The other day I came across an article by Chris Brogan, My 3 Words for 2012. I was intrigued. Chris’s approach is to dig deep and find three words that’ll act as your polestar as you navigate the new year.
To me Brogan’s idea of “3 words” is similar to resolutions but acts more as a mantra – a way to remind yourself on a daily basis to hold your course.
Having 3 words is a start. You can assure yourself greater success by doing the following:
What are the 3 words that’ll guide you through 2012? Why not share them here. I’d love to hear from you.
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Posted in How to, Inspiration, Personal Care, Tips
Tagged 3words, Chris Brogan, failure, How to, keeping, New Year, New Year's Resolutions, research, Tips, words
It’s time to stop the rushing and working and worrying. You can always pick that up later. For now, as we come to the end of another year, let’s all take a deep breath and calm ourselves. As my holiday present, I’ve put together a little virtual retreat for you. You’ll find some wonderful calming images, music, books, and quotations below… Read more.
Posted in Holidays, How to, Inspiration, Personal Care
Tagged calmness, end of year, Holidays, How to, Inspiration, personal care, reducing stress, stress reduction
Mom at twenty-three
Those of you who are regular readers of my blog know that every Monday is devoted to Monday’s Link Roundup. This Monday is different. Yesterday Mom died at Victoria Hospice at the age of ninety-three.
Mom always believed that when she transitioned to that other side, she’d be met by my Dad, Ed Curtis, who died in 1990. I like to think she was right. And whether by coincidence or design her death took place on their seventy-second wedding anniversary. They were married December 18, 1939.
Throughout my life Mom was one of my biggest fans and supporters. In many ways she introduced me to story telling at an early age. An avid reader, her favorite activity before going to sleep was to read a few pages from her latest book. Every morning I would eagerly run into her bedroom to sit by her bed. There, she would relate the latest installment – no doubt censoring some of the racy bits for the ears of an eight-year-old.
She also regaled me with stories from her teenage years when her family homesteaded in the wilderness of northern British Columbia. Eagerly absorbed by a young boy were tales of encounters with grizzly bears, hunting, and snowy winter nights, hunkered down in their log cabin.
People have remarked that it’s sad that Mom’s death came so close to Christmas. In part that’s true. I certainly haven’t had time in the past few weeks to think much about the holiday season. But central to this time of year is the message of peace, comfort, and joy. And I’ve experienced all of those in a personal and profound way. Mom and I were surrounded at Victoria Hospice by loving and compassionate care. Her final days brought her comfort and her death was blessedly peaceful. And we had joyful moments – reminiscing about Christmases past, enjoying cups of her favorite tea from her favorite cup, and laughing at this comedy called life. One of the last things she said to me, opening her eyes briefly was, “Having fun?”
I miss her dearly. My world has changed forever. But surrounded and supported by my loving partner, friends, and colleagues I’ll carry on doing honor to those values she tried to instill in me – kindness, loyalty, grace, and a good sense of humor.
Thanks, Mom.
Posted in End of life, Holidays, Inspiration, Palliative care
Tagged Christmas, death, End of life, holiday, hospice, Inspiration, memories, Mom, Palliative care, Victoria Hospice
Why do some succeed and others fail? In a word – persistence. It’s that ability to get knocked down, pick yourself up, and keep going. Success of course is entirely in the mind of the beholder. Success to one person is failure to another.
Increasingly people find their way to my blog looking for the key to a successful career as a personal historian. I don’t have a magic formula. But what I do know from years of experience is that without persistence nothing of real value can be achieved.
There are plenty of obstacles on the road to becoming a successful personal historian. I’ve selected four. Your success will largely be determined by whether you persist and overcome these obstacles .
Your home office can be a lonely place. This is especially true if you previously worked in a business where you socialized with fellow employees.
There are ways to minimize the isolation. You can network through social media, join professional associations, and participate in service organizations. But the truth is that a good part of your personal history work will be spent alone.
Failure to overcome this isolation and persist can give you second thoughts about being a personal historian.
This is the biggest obstacle to your success.
There’s so much to fear when starting a new personal history business. There’s the fear of marketing yourself, the fear of doing the wrong thing, the fear of not having enough money to live on, the fear of being a competent interviewer, and on and on.
Fear can paralyze. An ability to keep going in spite of your fears spells the difference between success and failure.
If you’re used to a regular paycheck, get ready for a shock. For the first couple of years you’ll find more money going out than coming in.
In order to persist through the lean times you’ll need to be able to call on all your financial ingenuity. If you don’t have a reserve of funds, or a part-time income or the support of friends and family or the thriftiness of a Scotsman, you may not be able to continue.
Personal historians come from a wide range of professions but no one comes to the business fully experienced. It’s the kind of work you learn over time and largely by doing.
There are a host of basic skills you need – marketing, interviewing, editing, project management, and sales, to mention a few. Being able to clearly identify your business shortcomings and showing persistence in overcoming them spells the difference between success and failure.
Let me leave you with these inspiring words on persistence by American naturalist and author, Edward O. Wilson.
You are capable of more than you know. Choose a goal that seems right for you and strive to be the best, however hard the path. Aim high. Behave honorably. Prepare to be alone at times, and to endure failure. Persist! The world needs all you can give.
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Last year I had the privilege of hearing First Nation elder STOLȻEȽ ( John Elliot) of the WASÁNEĆ (Saanich) territory address the 16th Annual APH Conference in Victoria, B.C. He spoke reverently of the stories that were passed down to him about the land and sea and animals and the values to live by… Read more.
“My friends, love is better than anger.
Hope is better than fear.
Optimism is better than despair.
So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic.
And we’ll change the world.”
~ Jack Layton, (1950-2011) MP and Leader of the Official Opposition, Canada
These were the inspirational closing words of a farewell letter to Canadians written by Jack Layton days before he died on August 22nd.
While not known widely outside his native land, Layton held a special place of affection and admiration for Canadians. This could be seen in the unprecedented outpouring of sorrow during a week that culminated in his state funeral on August 27th in Toronto.
Globe and Mail columnist Sandra Martin in her article Why a farewell letter can comfort and inspire wrote:
Jack Layton wasn’t the first person to send a public deathbed letter to friends, colleagues and supporters and he won’t be the last…Memories fade or become altered with time, but a letter is a literary document that retains its original text and ensures that your words– rather than somebody else’s interpretation of them–are passed on…Writing a farewell letter, even in conjunction with others, forces you to think deeply and hard about the message you want to send and how you to express it… For mourners, the letter can become a talisman. You can carry it in your pocket, consult it when grief wallops you, and reread it like a gospel to help you make decisions in keeping with the deceased’s wishes.
Reading Martin’s article, I was reminded of the value of these “legacy” letters. Even if we’re not dying, a legacy letter, sometimes called an ethical will, can be a source of comfort for those who will one day be left behind. I’ve written about ethical wills in a previous article What Do Sidney Poitier and Ethical Wills Have In Common?
For those of you interested in writing your own or in teaching others to write an ethical will, check out my free Ethical Will Course here.
Have you written your legacy letter yet?
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